Birthday Girls

My birthday was yesterday. Li'l Sis' birthday is tomorrow. My lovely stepmother took birthday photos for us. Aren't we cute?

Balm For My Spirit: Third Day

Months ago I bought Third Day's newest album, Revelation. It arrived and promptly got lost. I have NO idea where it went. I even went to the library and made them look through their basket of accidental returns (it would not have been the first time, trust me!). Anyway, the car I am currently borrowing has a CD player in it, and, needing something to listen to, I opened the media closet. Lo and behold...there is my Revelation CD. Honest, I had searched that closet many times before without finding it. I think it was being kept for this past week.

So, Thursday morning, after the accident and several hours before the 'goodbye Raoul' thing, I popped that baby into the CD player and began to soak up the kind of lyrics that are truly comforting. I will include a few meaningful examples below, but encourage you to listen to the album for yourself (especially the title track, which I am not including below)

Oh, I don't want to let go of all the things that I know
are keeping me away from my life
Oh, I don't want to slow down, no I don't want to look around
But I can't seem to work it out
So help me God

It's been so long since you felt like you were loved
So what went wrong
But do you know there's a place where you belong, here in my arms?

Ever since the world around you shattered, you've been looking everywhere for something more
Sometimes you feel like your life doesn't matter, But it does, I tell you it does.

All the promises I've broken,
all the times I've let you down
You've forgot them but still I hold on
to the pain that makes me drown.
Now I'm ready to let it go, to give it away.
Take it all 'cause I can't take it any longer,
All I have I can't make it on my own.
Take the first, take the last, take the good and take the rest.
Here I am, all I have, take it all.
All the roads that lie before me, all the struggles I go through
Every second I'm reminded that it all belongs to you.
Now I'm ready to let it go, to give it away
Ever since I died to myself, you gave a better life to me
I give you my finest moment, I give you the last breath I breathe.

What I Want For My Birthday: Take Two

I actually felt slightly guilty about the first edition of this post...wanting to get away from my kids being immediately followed by nearly losing one and all. Although, by the next day I wanted to get away even more! I thought, in any case, that I would come up with a slightly more realistic birthday list. Here goes!

A Kayak
A new car
A pedicure each month for a year
A piano repairman/tuner. If he's cute and single, even better. But really, I just want my piano fixed and tuned.
A magic wand.
A good man.
An iPod touch. Yeah, I know, I know...ok, an mp3 player.
The newest Newsboys album
A bed (daybed or futon with an innerspring mattress)

Once, I asked for a new car and a good man and you know what I got? Jumper cables and flannel sheets. Close, but not quite. Since both items are on this list, as well, along with the magic wand (these three items appear on all my lists), I just thought I should point out that I already have jumper cables and flannel sheets.

Tips From Tech Support

Because I love my readers, I decided to share some tips that I have gathered during my time of pretending to be a geek. (My mom says I am not pretending, that I just haven't embraced my inner geek yet, but some days I wonder.) Anyway, here you go:

1. Remember that there is ONE reason that you call Tech Support. It is because we know more than you do. So please don't argue with me when I tell you to do something.

2. Please do not call about a problem you are having with a device when you don't have the device with you. No, really.

3. If you do not know how to use your computer, if, for instance, the only desktop you know of is the one your computer sits on, I am going to have trouble helping you. And please, please don't be offended if we ask to speak to the teenagers in your home because you don't know what a joystick is.

4. If you are having trouble with an iPhone...please do not call tech support from the same iPhone. "Could you please try x?" "Um....I will have to call you back." Sigh.

5. And, finally, do not be offended when we ask you what seem to be very stupid questions. Just the other day a nice man called to say that the button on his device was not working. He said no matter how hard he pushed, it just didn't do anything.
"Sir, have you removed the protective plastic covering?"
"Ahhhh! A ha ha ha ha ha! I have a MASTER'S DEGREE FOR PETE'S SAKE!!! Hahahahahaha! A master's degree! Ahem. Thank you. That is all I need this evening."

Say Goodbye to Raoul

Capping off one of the worst weeks of my life, Raoul and I decided last night not to see each other anymore. He was unwilling to compromise on his lifestyle and I was unwilling to compromise on my beliefs and all in all, it seemed time to let go. I had told him in the beginning that I wanted this relationship to be something we could both look back on without regret, knowing we both gained something in the process, if not in the end. I am not sure I can do that quite yet. I think, though, that my regrets are the kind I can live with. I loved too quickly, I hoped too strongly, I believed too easily. I can live with that.

Another Update

Brandon was, amazingly enough, discharged today. He will be staying with my mom for a while. He still can't feel his little finger-please pray for complete healing of the nerve. Also, he is getting antsy, which is not a good thing for either him OR my mother. Idleness has never worked well for him, and mom's cable TV is clearly not enough to battle it, LOL. Thank you all for your prayers-they are much appreciated! I was too busy and tired to answer them all but I did read every one, and I know they were heard. Everything went perfectly, in retrospect, this situation could not have gone better (other than, you know, not having happened to begin with!).

Update: Arterial Bleeds Are Not Fun

Seriously, that was a LOT of blood. Brandon completely severed his ulnar artery and his ulnar nerve (do hope I am spelling that correctly)

He was in surgery with both a vascular surgeon and a plastic surgeon for three hours. They were able to re-attach both artery and nerve. There is quite a bit of muscle damage, as well. Brandon's hand is pink and warm but he cannot feel two of his fingers. We aren't sure exactly what is in store for him.

My front door is missing its window. I was driving a borrowed car. He lost a whole pint of blood just in the ER room, so I am guessing another pint or two between the time he broke the window and the time he got into the ER room. I have never seen this kid so pale and pasty. I am not looking foward to talking to either the landlord or the owner of the car.

I broke more traffic laws in two minutes than I have in my entire driving career. Brandon had field medic training in CAP and was able to tourniquet himself--left-handed with his own belt! The ER docs and nurses were very impressed with his self-triage. Once I saw the amount of blood he was losing, I figured I could get him to the ER faster than I could call 911 and explain. I was correct. Basically, I put one hand on the horn and didn't stop, breaking the speed limit, running red lights (I checked to be sure I wouldn't get run into first) and exhibiting extremely rude behavior in the hospital parking lot. I dropped him off at the door and parked, and when I walked in the doors myself, it was to be greeted by blood everywhere and people moving very quickly and shouting to stay away from it. I said that was my kid's blood and they let me follow the trail to his room.

The only time I have seen so many medical personnel in one tiny room before tonight was the day Brandon was born-when they realized we were losing him and they needed to section me. There wasn't any room for me most of the time. I was in shock myself and pretty useless for most of it. I had to dial my dad's phone number three times just to get it right! There were a lot of questions to answer and a form to sign telling them it was ok by me to do what was necessary, including amputation. Like I would choose Door B, leave the big piece of glass in his arm, please?

My family arrived post haste (my mother never answers her phone, so I texted her a simple "Hospital NOW" and that seemed to do the trick), as did a few people from church. Additionally, a large group of people from my parents' church just happened (ha!) to be in the same OR waiting area for another patient and we had quite the prayer meeting. It was such a blessing. Raoul showed up before most of my family had to leave, just to hold my hand and make sure I was ok. My middle sister sat with Brandon while he ate, once he was out of the anesthesia and quit throwing up, that is. Her boyfriend and Nate came home to tape up the door and clean up the blood and glass. And, blessedly, I still have one more day off before I have to go back to work.

I will update what I can later. Thank you for your prayers.

URGENT PRAYER REQUEST

Brandon is in the operating room right now. Long story short: impaled front right arm. Please pray-they are doing exploratory surgery right now. The glass is still in his arm, all the way through. Thank you.

What I Want For My Birthday

My birthday is two weeks from today. Now, I am in a very bad, probably hormonal mood, and so what I want could change in that amount of time. But right now, this is what I want:

I want to run away. I want to go where no one wants anything from me. No kids, boyfriends, cats, birds, jobs, customers, coworkers, no schoolwork, dishes, laundry, no house to clean. No places to be or things that need doing. No worries and no cares. No pressures. No broken cars, no bills, no neighbors, no leaky and plugged up sink, no nasty so-called 'lawn' that needs cutting with two broken-down lawnmowers that won't do the trick. I just want to get away. It can be a beach, a mountain, Mexico, Alaska, I don't care. Just send me away and leave me there until I find some peace and strength and am ready to come home.

At Least He's Persistent

Remember Alex Tran, the boy who wrote that high school seniors have the right to be left alone by substitute teachers? He waited out his 30 days and then, seriously, he wrote again in response to all his critics.

You can tell me all you want about how substitute teachers are people too, but
if the best you can do is tell me how I'm going to be told what to do my whole
life and that I'm an immature little kid who needs to run to his mommy, then
you've done nothing to change my opinion.

I am not sure what his point is. I am even less impressed with him than before...not only is he being childish, but he is stubbornly insisting on being childish. His poor father wrote to the paper, as well, basically to protest that he hadn't tried to teach his son to be a brat. All I know is, this kid has a lesson to learn, and the sooner the better for all concerned!

Vans, Toes and Roses

Last night the van wouldn't start. Now, I saw this coming, but it was still an awful experience. And, it is running today, thanks to Brandon's ministrations (he got instructions from my dad. I will admit to trepidation towards driving a car my BABY fixed...even if he is 16 and mechanically inclined). Still, it lost a window (the window is intact in my closet, it just won't stay on the van), it has 290,000 miles on it, the brakes are going, the transmission is not in great shape, the steering has had issues for over a year, the tires are bald and pieces are falling off. It is time to lay the poor thing to rest. She was a good van, and I am immensely grateful for her, but the time has come. This, however, also means it is time to get a new car...which I cannot afford. So, I will be working as many hours as my dear employer will let me, up to 60 a week, and sacrifice both my quarterly pedicures and flowers for my desk, among other things. Hopefully it will be worth it, and in time. And hopefully my kids will remember me when I am done working tons of overtime!