If I Go Crazy, Take Two

Today's insanity-inducing call (and here I will pretend I work for iPhone. I don't, but you know the drill):

"Thank you for calling iPhone support! How can I help you?"
"I am VERY UNHAPPY."
"I'm sorry to hear that. What can I do to help?"
"I bought one of these iPhone thingabobs and today I went to buy some movies for it. They almost all cost money! I don't understand! Why should I pay more to have a movie on my iPhone when I can get it at the library on DVD for free? The whole idea was that I could take the movie to Starbucks, and it would be easy to carry. But most of your movies cost money!"
"Well, we do have some free movies, but most movie prices are set by the studios and-"
"I know that! But these should be free! I want to watch Gone With the Wind and look, it costs 3.99!"
"I'm sorry about that, I-"
"So I checked some movies out from the library. Will they work on the iPhone?"
"Well, it depends on the-"
"Where are they?"
"Pardon me?"
"Where are the movies I got from the library?"
"Ma'am, that would depend on where you put them when you got home."
"Well, every house has a shelf to put movies on. Help me find mine!"
"Ma'am, I'm sorry, but I don't know where you put your movies. You could look around for them."
"You don't know much about houses, do you? Every house has a shelf!"
"Yes, every house has a shelf, but every house is different and-"
"You are supposed to help me! Tell me where to find my movies!"
"I'm sorry ma'am, but if you don't know where you put your movies, I really can't help you."
"I want to talk to your supervisor. You aren't any help!"

My poor supervisor. He had a very similar experience. And there were so many things I would like to have said to this customer.