Nate's New Blanket

You know those double-layer fleece blankets that are held together by fringing the fleece and tying hundreds of knots? Well, Nate outgrew the one I had made him years ago, so my friend and I made him another yesterday. Last night we curled up to watch NCIS LA and he couldn't decide which blanket to use. (Nate tends to anthropomorphize a little too much.)

Nate: "I feel like I am cheating on my old blanket, because I want to use the new one. I've had it for years. I don't want to hurt its feelings."
Me: "It's a blanket. It doesn't have feelings."
Nate: "How do you know?"
Me: "Well, it didn't scream when I cut it all those times."
Nate: "Maybe it's Emo."

If You Live With a Guy Named Phil...

If you live with a guy named Phil, you should really *know* that you are living with a guy named Phil. This is so that when Phil gives me the phone number at your place because I need to call him back two days later, the conversation doesn't go like this:

clearly just-woken man "Hello?"
"Hi, may I speak to Phil?"
"I'm sorry?"
"May I speak to Phil?"
"Who?"
"Phil?"
"There's no Phil here...wait...maybe there is..."
"Hi, this is Phil."

It was at least 10 in the morning...and Phil has apparently lived there for days, and had the phone number, and yet...

Out of the Mouths of Adolescents, Take Two

Clumsily attempting to voice my opinion on Nate's new found habit of closing his bedroom door whenever he is in there, I said, "I hate this age."

"Don't worry, Mom! You'll be 35 soon."

(he then corrected my misconception--he has developed a habit of closing his bedroom door because he doesn't want to disturb me when I am working. Had nothing to do with his being 14)

Out of the Mouths of Adolescents

I am the thrilled recipient of a new-to-me pillow-top mattress. Best night's sleep I have had since staying at a Marriott! (I HAVE to get me one of their pillows).

Nathan wants my mattress. I told him he couldn't have it, and I said, "Besides, you are a man! This would be too soft for you!"

"Mom, men like soft. Why do you think they marry women?"

*snort* And this from the boy who still says girls have cooties.

At Least Chivalry Isn't Dead

I am sitting in my bedroom/office, eating ribs and home fries. Nate is sitting in the living room, reading a book he was supposed to save for his trip this weekend. We hear a crashing noise. I say, "Do I WANT to know?"
"That didn't come from your room?"
"No...."
"Good. No need to rescue you, then!" and he keeps on reading...

I still don't know what the noise was.

Modern Fairy Tales

I was sitting unsuspecting in the ladies' room this evening when two short people (ages three and five) in matching Barbie Cheerleader outfits invaded. They were not, however, pretending to be Barbies. No, they were princesses of some sort (they could not remember their pretend names) and did not let nature's call stall (no pun intended) their fantasy. I kept as quiet as I could, so that I would not scare them back to reality.

The fantasy unfolded before my ears. The two princesses were apparently in great mourning, as over the course of our stay in the ladies' room, several of their fellow royal children were struck down by either plague or witches' curses. (their mothers were the witches, oddly enough).

What struck me as a harbinger of this century, however, was actually that the death notices came via text message. No joke! Some previously dead prince named Peter kept texting them with sad tidings. Whatever happened to scrolls? Heralds? The Pony Express? Sigh.

If God Texted The 10 Commandments

1. no1 b4 me. srsly.
2. dnt wrshp pix/idols
3. no omg's
4. no wrk on w/end (sat 4 now; sun l8r)
5. pos ok - ur m&d r cool
6. dnt kill ppl
7. :-X only w/ m8
8. dnt steal
9. dnt lie re: bf
10. dnt ogle ur bf's m8. or ox. or dnkey. myob.

M, pls rite on tabs & giv 2 ppl.

ttyl, JHWH.

ps. wwjd?

From www.mikeysFunnies.com