Friday, July 4, 2008

Since When is it About Easy?

Twice in 24 hours this subject has come up...do you teach your kids to do things like chores, or do you do it yourself? Both times the mother in question has said, 'It's just EASIER to do it myself.' (in defense of one mom, she now sees the subject differently and what she said was part of a compliment she was giving me)

Well, OF COURSE it's easier! But since when is parenting about easy? No, very little about parenting is about ease or comfort. One problem I see more and more is that parents see their task as taking care of kids instead of shaping adults. Today's kids are tomorrow's rulers, after all. And tomorrow's criminals, lawyers, bakers, doctors...you get the point.

This mindset brings with it several effects, none of them happy. First, you get kids who think the world revolves around them. It is not healthy for a child to believe this (past the normal egocentric age that begins at birth, that is), and it really is necessary to their self-worth to feel like they are contributing to the family rather than being served by it. Secondly, you have a young person who graduates school and goes to college (or not) not realizing that their fairies aren't coming with them. You know--the Laundry Fairy, the Dishes Fairy, the Toilet-Scrubbing Fairy. These young people are impossible to live with, both because their roommates are suddenly thrust into multi-fairy mode, but also because they have that attitude-the Princess attitude...all good things come to me, because I am me! You also have kids who don't respect their parents because they haven't learned that their work is respectable. I suspect these same kids won't feel they need to be doing any respectable work anytime soon.

I'm a proud holder of the Mean Mommy Award. Yup, I make them do the dishes over and over if they can't seem to get them clean. We have company coming today and both had to do extra chores. They suffer consequences when they make mistakes. And one day, they'll thank me. Or at least their wives will.

2 comments:

shadowspring said...

Mwah! A kiss for your timely word of encouragement.

Jenny-Fair said...

Gee, that might be the only kiss I have had all week! LOL