Ya Know What Bites?

When you find out you have been converted to a regular employee (you know, the kind who has a job indefinitely instead of a looming 'end date') and no one you call to share the news with answers their phones!!!

Mama Said There'd Be Days Like This

So, who stole the sun and refuses to share? Seriously, I haven't seen it in over a week and today it remained so dark that the parking lot lights at work never turned off! I don't do well with continuous lack of sunshine. Work news: They don't know yet if they will be keeping me. My boss says I will be the first to find out after her, mainly 'cause I will hear her screaming with joy. Fairy Godmother: Still conspicuously absent and I am without a dress as this month, with very little notice, I have been deprived of both child support and food stamps and *poof* there went my budget. School news: Nate and I are beginning a unit on Ancient Rome. Toga party, anyone? Rant of the Day: I am so sick and tired of the 'come weigh-in' emails being sent out by the (obviously mis-labeled) Morale Boosting team at work, which is hosting a biggest loser knock-off. Pardon me, but group self-flagellation is not morale boosting! It is also not effective. Other: I did not win the t-shirt contest at work. No, no, not THAT kind of t-shirt contest, the kind where we submit designs for the backs of the shirts. I rather liked my design, too, but oh, well.

Pondering and Don Bellisario

I don't know where Don Bellisario finds his men, but I want his little black book. Since I was a little girl in love with Magnum, his leading-man picks have caused me no end of delightful, meaningless and mostly imaginary emotionalism.

Nate and I are currently watching JAG from beginning to end-unfortunately Seasons 8 through 11 or wherever it ends are not released yet, and we will have to trudge along on a meager allowance of one NCIS each week and our tired Magnum DVDs-and this evening we finished Season 6. The last episode of this season is a cliffhanger, of course, it is the eve of Mac's wedding and Harm is lost at sea. Mac is torn and Mic, the evil Australian, may just be starting to figure out that he's a lost cause.

Two episodes earlier Mac and Harm share the hottest kiss I have seen since Mark Harmon pinned a murderess against his perennially half-completed boat in his basement right before arresting her. That kiss ended a tortured conversation that recalled Mac's and Harm's relationship from beginning to end, which can be summed up in the phrase, "Fish or cut bait!" Over and over that man flounders between declaring his love, taking Mac for granted, and merely stewing in silent anger when any other man captures Mac's attentions, or even just makes an attempt.

Yet I am still rooting for the adorable coward. After all, we can see how much he loves Mac in his brooding expression, and Mac definitely loves him. Why does it matter that he rebuffs her every time she offers her heart to him, apparently preferring to engage in a bit more serial monogamy before settling down?

Harm isn't the only one--Magnum, too, expressed passionate and deep love that went nowhere, and LJ Gibbs has never committed to more than dinner and some plumbing repair. Yet, all three could, if real, easily capture my own heart, and that is what bothers me. Am I attracted to men who fear commitment and are unwilling to give up their selfish existence and settle down? It would certainly explain a lot. I know I live in the real world, and honestly, I am not as caught up in TVland as this post makes it seem, but I can't figure out if I am merely playing along with the writers or if I had better explore some deeper issues.

Just Plain Wrong

Since my Fairy Godmother apparently does not read my blog (and I am not willing to wait until the night of the ball for my gown and slippers to appear, anyway...although I DO have to work that day, there will be no fireplace cleaning), and I am not thinking mice will be stitching up a gown and cobbling shoes, and I don't buy lotto tickets, I figured I should get a pattern and make my own dress.

Apparently the mice are a better bet. I just looked through EVERY single pattern catalog that major fabric stores carry and NOT ONE has gown patterns in the plus size section. Apparently, we just aren't supposed to have any fun until we have starved ourselves into societal acceptance? Most gown patterns don't top a size 18 (and patterns have different sizes...for instance, I wear a dress size 24 but a pattern size 32...so an 18 would be about a size 12 in dress sizes, I am guessing), with a select few going all the way up to a 22. They probably don't think we can get dates, either, and what's the point of going anywhere without a man? (eyes rolling, here...)

I am not quite sure what I am going to do. My darling sister in law, who can design a pattern for just about anything, is too far away to help in this case. I may have to try it myself--been meaning to draft patterns, but had been hoping to begin with something a tad easier. You know, something that wasn't supposed to fit exactly against your body and that wasn't made out of satin?

I have been polling ladies and most are leaning towards a dark blue for me, although I have also heard seafoam green, dark purple, deep red, and several suggestions for 'sparkles'. I guess I am a sparkly person!

Have You Seen My Fairy Godmother?

I found out this morning that I have a formal ball to attend three weeks from tomorrow.

This should be a crime.

So, Fairy Godmother, I know you have been falling down on the job, but here's what I need:
An Igigi dress
Strappy Dansko heels
Spanx
And a date

My January Unresolutions (plus a rant)

The worst thing about this time of year, I think, is hearing people beat themselves up and then proclaim that this year is going to be different...this year they really will lose the weight! Plus all the rotten dieting advice and nonsense being passed around.

Ok, tell ya what...this year is no different. Why not? Because the laws of science have not changed, and neither have our bodies. Dieting did not work last year or the year before that, and it will not work this year. Depriving ourselves (no matter what name you give that deprivation) still causes a psychological and biological backlash. Aiming for society's wrong idea of fitness still isn't going to be enough motivation to counteract biology, and doing all this to get thin still isn't any healthier than normal, intuitive eating that doesn't change the number on the scale. In fact, dieting is the cause of greater weight gain and a multitude of other health problems that I won't go into because others like www.kateharding.net have done it so much better.

One thing, therefor, that you will NOT see on my list, this or any other year, is a pledge to lose weight!

I made my list (see earlier post) and it came to more than 12, so one item per month wasn't going to cut it. It was hard to choose only a few for January, but I did. They are:

• Take my Levity vitamins every day--all three pills. I need to do this because I feel SO much better, physically and emotionally, when I take them.
• Irrigate my sinuses twice a day. Like you wanted to know that? LOL
• Go for a walk 4 times a week, because that is the only way I will be able to overcome the muscular imbalance I have in my legs that causes excruciating pain when I do walk.
• Clean out the kitty box every day. I tend to forget until after I am in my jammies, at which point I really don't want to go outside.

I made a calendar for the month with one week per page and little icons to check off when I have completed each of the things on my list. Also with space to write things in because my stepmother's calendar is just so pretty, and hanging on my wall already (yes, on the first day of the year!) , plus it has small squares and doesn't fit in my purse. We shall see how the month goes. I am not setting these things up as resolutions, because truly, if I miss a day, I want to be able to shake it off and move on. I guess it's more a reminder system of the things that I really want to do for myself but never seem to get around to.

Happy New Year

I barely feel like we had Christmas, and now it's already a new month and a new year. I am not excited.

I don't believe in New Year's Resolutions but for some reason this year I am having a hard time not making a list. I don't know if this is because 2008 was fraught with problems in every area of my life or what.

I suppose, though, that there is a difference between a resolution and a goal, so I will consider making a list of the latter, instead. If I do, I should put a limit as to number or I might be overwhelmed! Perhaps monthly goals? We'll see.

The Coolest Thing I've Seen In a While

Seriously, no matter why you read my blog, you should check out www.snowcrystals.com and at least page through the galleries. Microphotography of real snowflakes--it is truly amazing!