Jenny-Fair's Kingdom

Why Nate May Not Make It to 17

2011-12-03T12:10:00.000-08:00

Nate: "I ordered new windshield wipers for your car the other day and according to the system, your engine is a supercharged V6."
Me: "I told you it was a V6."
Nate: "Well, yeah, but you're....a girl."

Prizewinning Day

2011-11-28T18:59:00.000-08:00

About, oh, six weeks ago, I was made a supervisor of sorts. It was a much bigger change than imagined! Then a little over two weeks ago I was asked if I would be willing to move to an area that I haven't worked in for nearly 3 years...and I said yes. Most days since then I have questioned my willingness to do this, but things are slowly getting better. I may even survive through New Year's :)

Today was a real prizewinner-and I'm not joking! I won a prize for talking to more upset customers than any of my peers.

I also dealt with the usual supervisory stuff-the stuff that makes me feel like I do more parenting at work than I do at home. Like this conversation:

Him: "My internet isn't working for some reason."
Me: "Ok, I need you to unplug your modem for about 30 seconds and then plug it back in."
Him: "I can't do that. If I do that I am pretty sure from experience it will just stop working for like 30 minutes. I think I should just wait around until it works again."
Me: "So what you are saying is that you know you have trouble with your modem, and you know you need your modem in order to work, but you haven't gotten it fixed or replaced?"
Him: "Oh, no, there's nothing wrong with my modem."
Me: "I guess you will need to call your ISP, then...but I am warning you, they *will* make you unplug your modem!"

Nate's New Blanket

2011-11-07T08:01:00.000-08:00

You know those double-layer fleece blankets that are held together by fringing the fleece and tying hundreds of knots? Well, Nate outgrew the one I had made him years ago, so my friend and I made him another yesterday. Last night we curled up to watch NCIS LA and he couldn't decide which blanket to use. (Nate tends to anthropomorphize a little too much.)

Nate: "I feel like I am cheating on my old blanket, because I want to use the new one. I've had it for years. I don't want to hurt its feelings."
Me: "It's a blanket. It doesn't have feelings."
Nate: "How do you know?"
Me: "Well, it didn't scream when I cut it all those times."
Nate: "Maybe it's Emo."

Success!

2011-09-25T23:18:00.000-07:00

*Ahem* I have cut three minutes off my walking mile time this year!

I find this exciting news. I have been using MapMyFitness.com, which I find enables me to log activities while completely skipping calorie-counting, weight-loss emphasis (it's there if you want it, but easily avoided). I use the free option, so some graphs and such aren't available to me, but it has what I need.

What it does not have are activity codes for hooping or table tennis. So sad! I will just keep choosing 'Other' for now, and know in my heart that 'Other' means 'Ecstatically Fun Activities.' Also, I completely fail at getting their apps on my Android phone to log my walks real-time. Some tech support I am, huh?

If You Live With a Guy Named Phil...

2011-09-02T13:48:00.001-07:00

If you live with a guy named Phil, you should really *know* that you are living with a guy named Phil. This is so that when Phil gives me the phone number at your place because I need to call him back two days later, the conversation doesn't go like this:

clearly just-woken man "Hello?"
"Hi, may I speak to Phil?"
"I'm sorry?"
"May I speak to Phil?"
"Who?"
"Phil?"
"There's no Phil here...wait...maybe there is..."
"Hi, this is Phil."

It was at least 10 in the morning...and Phil has apparently lived there for days, and had the phone number, and yet...

Dear Teacher Man in Asia,

2011-08-30T21:56:00.000-07:00

Dear Teacher Man in Asia,

It was fun talking to you. I like how you began our conversation by disparaging my Latino colleagues, and then continued that theme as you put down my gender as a whole and also the country in which you reside and the citizens you are supposedly there to educate. By the end of our conversation, I was quite relieved to feel no sadness whatsoever at the fact that I could not solve your problem-a problem that was created by your own ill-advised behavior. Oh, and by the way, I meant to tell you that your entire computer is infected with a virus most likely acquired while watching porn. Sorry 'bout that.

Sincerely,
Jenny-Fair

Things I Learned on My Vacation:

2011-08-23T21:20:00.001-07:00

1. Mosquitoes are evil.
2. When living amongst swarms of mosquitoes, teenage boys are apt to re-name cortisone sticks "Happy Juice."
3. Children are more likely to fight over homemade salsa than they are candy.
5. When subjected to a TV- and Internet-free existence, children may beg to play Yahtzee and complain they don't have enough time to read their books, what with all the swimming in the lake and Yahtzee-playing they are doing.
6. After teenage boys catch 'pet' frogs, they can spend happy hours with dimestore butterfly nets catching 'frog food'. One net was even pink, but you didn't hear that from me.
7. Country men manning a teensy Ace Hardware store that keeps its overstock in a barn covered with a tarp next to cages of rabbits are mightily amused at city girls asking for hula-hoop making supplies.
8. Ladies of size may be more easily able to hula hoop with a *giant* hoop. No joke-I thought my chest-high hoop would do it, but I didn't really get it until I made a five-foot diameter hoop. I would not have had to make that hoop had we been able to pack our hoops into the van, but it was packed so tightly we may actually have misplaced a child at one point.
9. Hula hoops tied to the top of a van make a LOT of noise at 70 mph.
10. If you have a dog and live on a hill, you will *never* need to buy a Stairmaster.
11. When locked in a van full of folks singing Justin Bieber songs at the top of their lungs, my camo-wearing, Bieber-hating son will give in and sing along.
12. Children (ages 10-16) who run through the woods, catch frogs and frog food, swim in the lake twice a day, and go fishing in a paddleboat take naps without complaining, or at times, even meaning to do so!
13. I need to move to Mexico, to a town where siestas are still de rigueur.
14. Most of my sleep problems appear to be due to stress. Except for the night before our return, I fell asleep when the light went out and slept like a rock all night long. Now I just need to figure out how to better deal with the stress in my life so that I can sleep well every night!
15. It's easier to learn dog names than human names. We met Snaps, Jake, Bruno, Oprah and Winfrey.
16. 10 year olds make excellent tour guides.

High School & Hypocrisy

2011-01-13T18:46:00.000-08:00

Facebook is an interesting place. Although I live in the same town in which I grew up, I 'see' more school chums on Facebook than around town, even when they still live here, too. Since it's been nearly 20 years since my graduating class graduated without me, these virtual relationships bring surprises. One good high school friend, for instance, persists in refusing to speak to me just because I got pregnant during senior year. Seriously. And it's fun to see who married whom, who has kids, etc.

All this to say that this week a 'friend' un-friended me all because I dared criticize our high school!

For those who don't know, Nate attends two classes at the same high school I attended (German and French). He's been very blessed in the instructors he's been assigned. However, he's still in a public school two hours a day, with all that entails. This week it entailed something that his mother found irresponsible, unnecessary and above all, not educational in the least. And I posted about it on Facebook. No-Longer-Friend answered that she thought the same thing happened when we attended. In answering this No-Longer-Friend's answer to my complaint, I pointed out that in Washington State, an average of ten thousand dollars in tax money is used for each student, far more than private school tuition, but the results of the education are far less impressive. In fact, at this particular high school, less than half of 10th graders pass the 10th grade Math exam, and only slightly more than half pass the Science exam. The way I figure it, if they are taking this money, but not getting the job done, then the last thing they need to do is waste class time and administrative power on non-essentials such as a school-sponsored electronic dating service (no, I am not making this up).

Anyway, fast forward to where I am called a hypocrite for daring to repeat the above. Well, thank you, No-Longer-Friend, for pointing out yet another area in which our alma mater failed us: The use of a dictionary!

Hypocrite n.
1.
a person who pretends to have virtues, moral or religious beliefs, principles, etc., that he or she does not actually possess, esp. a person whose actions belie stated beliefs.

How does pointing out flaws in a school at which I attended (not by choice, even) make me a hypocrite? I didn't like the school then, didn't feel it was giving me a good education or preparing me for life, and I feel the same way now, only more strongly. Apparently I am a hypocrite for hoping my son and sister make better choices and have better opportunities than I did?

Shall we assume, then, that No-Longer-Friend is going to encourage her daughters to take their mom's romance novels with them to middle school and read the naughty parts aloud to their lunch table? I ask because this is my earliest memory of No-Longer-Friend. Or is it just possible that growing up, we gain wisdom and learning? Actually, Nate and I often have a conversation that begins with me saying I wish I had been more like him at his age and him pointing out that if that had been the case he would not exist.

It is never hypocrisy to learn from your mistakes, or even from the mistakes of others. It isn't hypocrisy to change your mind. It isn't hypocrisy to have rules for your kids that you didn't follow when you were a kid. And it definitely isn't hypocrisy to point out the flaws in an entity that you were once a part of. Some might even call it progress in the making.

So You Have a VCR...

2010-07-20T16:02:00.000-07:00

So you have a VCR, and you happily watch your videotapes, enjoying the movies for, say, two years. Then your friends start talking about how they can watch DVDs on their televisions and you decide to call Movie Support to find out how it's done.

We tell you that, unfortunately, your VCR was made before DVDs were invented.
"Well...I don't see why you people think you can talk down to me like that just because my VCR is older than other peoples'."
I am sorry, ma'am....but I am not sure what you want me to say. I can't make your VCR play DVDs.
"You know, you shouldn't treat me like I am less than other people! All my friends watch their DVDs and I want to, too!"

Eventually you demand to speak to my supervisor. He asks me why you are unhappy. I am unable to explain. Half an hour later, after talking to you, he is still sitting, dazed...not sure why you are unhappy.

Quotes & Conversations

2010-05-12T18:44:00.000-07:00

Me: And why can't you do that yourself?
Nathan: Because you are the intelligenter one.
(point proven)

Me: And what is your email address?
Customer: I don't give that out, ever. Can't I just give you my credit card number?

Me: Nate, it's time to go running.
Nathan: I guess I can't wimp out while wearing a Marines PT shirt, can I?
Me: Good thinking!
Nathan: I'm going to go change shirts...

Signs, Signs, Everywhere Signs...

2010-04-16T21:13:00.000-07:00

I would like to ask you a favor. I want you to walk outside your front door and to the nearest corner. When you get there, I want you to look around for the street sign. Find the one for your street. Read and memorize the entire sign. For instance, if it says 'Smith Ave.' I want you to memorize both 'Smith' and 'Ave.' And if it says 'NW' in front of it, memorize that, too. Teach it to your children. Write it on your arms if need be.

Then, when you call Customer Service, and they ask you for your billing address, because they want to be sure, before they get into your account where your credit cards, your customer history, your children's names, and many of your personal secrets are stored, that they are really talking to you. We verify because we love!

Please do not say, "What, are you going to send me a letter?"
Please do not tell me that you are too special to have to answer these questions.
Please, please, do not embarrass yourself by telling us that you do not know what kind of street you live on (or, worse, that is is 'gravel' or 'paved' or 'has sidewalks'), and you haven't gotten mail lately and you don't know how to look your information up online...really. Please don't do this.

And please, don't end this conversation screaming and yelling and swearing at us because you don't know your own address. It isn't pretty.

Santa and the Politician

2010-04-10T14:59:00.001-07:00

From my calls this week:

Me: And what is the email address on that account?
Customer: Well, I don't really know. Santa brought it.
(this person was an adult)

Me: And did you do [xyz] before you called?
Customer: I don't remember. It isn't something I record in my mind, you know, what I do.
(this person simply must be a politician. "I do not recall!")

Why I Am Glad It's Saturday

2010-04-03T15:01:00.000-07:00

Me: Do you have another address we could ship to besides the PO box? One that UPS or Fedex could use?
Customer: No, please use the PO box.
Me: All right, that will arrive between April 8 and April 12.
Customer: That long?! Can't you make it come faster?
Me: I'm sorry, I can't ship any faster than that to a PO box.
Customer: Even if I paid you?
-----
Me: I'm sorry, it sounds like I need to replace that for you.
Customer: Could you upgrade it, then?
Me: Ma'am, you already have the latest model.
Customer: No, I want that new iPad thing that just came out.
(keep in mind...I do NOT work for Apple...)

"I'm So Glad You Speak American!"

2010-03-23T19:12:00.000-07:00

If you know me well, you know I hang out on the socially and fiscally conservative end of the spectrum. But anytime I hear someone begin to spout off about people needing to speak English, my stomach gets upset and my respect meter takes a dive.

Perhaps it's the four years I spent studying another language, or the time I spent in another country (where, ironically, people made a great effort to speak to me in English until they figured out I could speak Spanish). It could also be the 10 years I lived in the brown half of a fiercely divided town, the men I have dated from other cultures or, I don't know, my common sense?

"I'm so glad you speak American" is something I hear far too often from callers. It is twice as disgusting as the usual English-only crud I come across. One, because 'American' isn't a language (speaking of which....'America' isn't a country, either), and two, because I work for an international company. Yes, when you call, the person you speak to may have an accent. This might make you uncomfortable (well, no one ever complains about the Irish accents. Maybe because Irish people tend to be white?). But it is solely your problem. The company I work for hires the cream of the crop at any location and while there is an occasional linguistic mishap, in the year and a half that I have been doing my job, I have been impressed. It is not anti-American of us to hire outside this country. After all, we sell outside this country, and if one thing is sure, 'America' sure appreciates our prices.

I think what bothers me most is that this particular brand of xenophobia tends to be associated with people and things that I hold dear or believe in. But you want my opinion? Here it is!

It is prideful. English is not a better-educated, classier, richer, conservative, better-sounding or more useful language. You just think it is because you have been speaking it all your life. By the way--thinking they need to learn to speak English to deserve to live here? Um, you were born here about four years before you became a proficient English-speaker.

It is ignorant. Do you know what I hear the most often? The opinion that people come to the US and never learn to speak English. After all, everywhere you shop, someone is speaking another language! Why can't they just get it in gear and learn English anyway? Well, I have news for you: THEY ARE. It's kind of like saying, "Everywhere I go there are more teenagers! Why can't they just grow up already?!" The problem isn't that the teenagers refuse to grow up (that's another post entirely), but that every day, more kids become teenagers. Likewise, it isn't that people are refusing to learn English--every day, more non-English-speakers join us in the great Melting Pot. You are just too blind to realize that they aren't the same non-English-speakers you were so hateful with a year ago.

Additionally, if your husband were transferred to Germany and you moved there 60 days from now, would you speak German well enough to get around town and get your business done? I highly doubt it. Don't make demands on others that you don't make on yourself.

When I lived in a heavily Spanish-speaking area, I got great opportunities to speak Spanish. But there was always a vying for languages taking place. I wanted to speak Spanish, my neighbors wanted to practice English. One gal, determined to learn the language, but home with three young children while her husband worked two jobs, would watch TV with the subtitles on, to try and learn to read and speak English while folding the laundry or cooking dinner. One semester she was able to join an ESL class that our church started, but her hands were simply too full to continue. (What? You mean they weren't on welfare, sucking our tax dollars? Sigh) Trust me, it isn't lack of desire or diligence at work here!

It's historically inaccurate. You think people used to hop off the boat and dive into an ESL class? Think again. I have a friend in her 70s who didn't learn English until she went to school, and she was born here in the States. You and I? Our backgrounds almost surely contain travelers who came to the US with a Mother Tongue, and sadly, somewhere our families lost them! If you ask my son, I'm sure he'd tell you he'd rather have grown up speaking German than walk to the high school every morning to beg for that teaching. My great grandmother must have spoken it as a child, but my grandmother never learned. The English-only attitudes that abound are causing families in this country today to try to not pass down this heritage. How sad! I will also point out that many Native American people groups are losing their language...and they were here before any English-speakers!

It's a bully's tactic. Pay special attention, my homeschooling friends. Those attitudes we love to miss out on by keeping our kids at home? I hear them in the English-only mantras. Good gracious, we wouldn't want anyone to be unique or different, no, everyone needs to be the same! And if they aren't the same, well, then, they aren't as good as the rest of us and they don't deserve what we have. (Interestingly, when I was in Guatemala with Wycliffe I learned that almost always, when a culture does not have a written language of its own, the people both within and surrounding that culture view them as lesser humans. Do we want to make people feel that way?)

It's arrogant. We can demand this because we are the United States? Few countries have this kind of rule. France isn't a country we want to emulate, is it? Most governments recognize that more than one language is in use in a large population. Why can't we? The prevalence of English speakers worldwide is due to just a couple things--British occupations and US pride. It might interest you to know that people in India (oh, the dreaded call centers!) grow up speaking English. That would be the English that is even more English than our English, a result of England's occupation there. And then there are those who cater to us because their economy depends on our money (see 'bully's tactic,' above).

It's useless and pointless. Exactly what are we hoping to gain? Discouraging people from coming to this country? Making everyone just like us? Or do we just want to be more comfortable when we go to the Wal-Mart? What insecurity is this feeding?

And, finally, it is not Biblical.
Ezekiel 22:7b The alien they have oppressed in your midst ; the fatherless and the widow they have wronged in you. (here we go...oppressing foreigners is listed with such things as raping one's daughter in law)

Deuteronomy 10:18-19 "He executes justice for the orphan and the widow, and shows His love by giving him food and clothing. So show your love for the alien, for you were aliens of Egypt." (and here we have a reminder--if you are a Christian, then YOU are an alien here on earth, as well)

Deuteronomy 27:19 'Cursed is he who distorts the justice due an alien, orphan, and widow.' And all the people shall say, 'Amen.' (wait...you mean that doesn't say Justice was only due to them if they had learned to speak Hebrew by then?)

The entire book of Ruth (go read it, it's a good story anyway!)

I encourage you to put aside any patriotism that has morphed into pride, to make decisions based not on your personal comfort but on logic and biblical standards, and to open your mind and your heart to the joy that those who journey here, to be part of this great country, which was founded on the right to be different, can share with you if you are willing.

Out of the Mouths of Adolescents, Take Two

2010-03-17T21:19:00.000-07:00

Clumsily attempting to voice my opinion on Nate's new found habit of closing his bedroom door whenever he is in there, I said, "I hate this age."

"Don't worry, Mom! You'll be 35 soon."

(he then corrected my misconception--he has developed a habit of closing his bedroom door because he doesn't want to disturb me when I am working. Had nothing to do with his being 14)

Out of the Mouths of Adolescents

2010-03-09T10:21:00.000-08:00

I am the thrilled recipient of a new-to-me pillow-top mattress. Best night's sleep I have had since staying at a Marriott! (I HAVE to get me one of their pillows).

Nathan wants my mattress. I told him he couldn't have it, and I said, "Besides, you are a man! This would be too soft for you!"

"Mom, men like soft. Why do you think they marry women?"

*snort* And this from the boy who still says girls have cooties.

Walking Before Breakfast

2010-03-07T07:37:00.000-08:00

I don't know what happens on Saturdays but I hardly ever get in a walk. So for the past two weeks, I have walked on Sunday mornings--first thing, just like all the advice columns recommend. (Get it out of the way first thing in the morning! It'll make your day so much nicer!)

Walking before breakfast is not for me. My walks are inevitably slower and more painful, and due to that also shorter, than my mid-day or evening walks. Oh, sure, once the pain passes, I get the tail end of that warm, soft post-walk feeling, and I am sure as I sit in church I will be a bit less uncomfortable than usual, but clearly my body demands more fuel than is left over after a full night's sleep.

Poor Nate! This doesn't bode well for his goal of getting out of our near-daily walks together.

Why I Need a Vacation

2010-03-05T12:37:00.000-08:00

Frequently when giving instructions I use 'we' instead of 'you'. I think it sounds less bossy. Today I told a lady, 'We need to plug it in now'. And she sat and waited a minute. Finally she said, 'Are you going to do that for me?'

Btw--vacation? I want to go on a cruise. It is the least work of any other vacation idea I can come up with.

The Principal of the Thing

2010-02-17T08:30:00.000-08:00

No, I did not use the wrong homonym...read on:

I was reading this story on CNN, which has many facets that I will not explore. The facet I would like to explore is from this quote:

Bayer [the school principal] also removed her from Advanced Placement classes and assigned her to regular classes.

That's right...this student was punished by banning her from learning!

As someone who was yanked out of AP classes as punishment ("If you aren't going to get good grades in advanced classes, you will have to go back to regular ones!"--which then caused me to be bored out of my skull until I finally dropped out, and which really didn't address the root of the issue as I learned what they wanted me to learn but simply refused to perform the way they wanted me to perform--seriously, can you tell yet why I homeschool?), I am appalled. Ninety percent of the students in school feel like knowledge is being shoved down their throats (I made that statistic up) and you take on of the tiny fraction who are hungry for knowledge and take it away? That should seriously be illegal. Clearly this principal doesn't actually have her students' education at the top of her list of priorities. Oh, no, it's all about conformity of thought...and here I could digress into areas that are best left untouched today.

Why I Hate Valentine's Day

2010-02-12T17:42:00.000-08:00

(in which I use a lot of hyphens)

Completely aside from the whole haven't-had-a-valentine-in-a-decade thing, Valentine's Day grates on my nerves, a kind of Christmas-without-the-goodwill-toward-men fake-fuzzy holiday.

Maybe I feel that way because I work in retail?

One year ago, prior to my entry into tech support, I received two memorable Valentine's Day calls. The first was a marriage proposal. Yes, my service is really that good. The second? A man who claimed that he would be sleeping on the couch that night and it was all my fault. He had ordered his wife's gift and chosen the slowest shipping method known to mankind, in order to save money. Sadly, UPS left his box on a truck, and it was going to arrive a day late. The only things I could think of were, "If the success of your marriage depends on the timely arrival of your Valentine's Day gift, perhaps slow-as-molasses-but-free shipping is not the way to say I love you," and, "Here, let me direct you to the marriage self-help books..."

Today the onslaught began. One reason, perhaps, that I dislike this holiday is the cultural attitude that we have that says men can behave like *insert anatomically correct term here* the rest of the year if they just play right on this day. On the one hand, it puts far too much pressure on them and on the other, far too little. And how many men, feeling the pressure to find the 'perfect' gift to somehow prove their love, freeze under that pressure and end up ordering the gift very, very late...and then calling poor people like me to complain that I have single-handedly ruined their love life? Sigh.

Today I had a rather reverse call. A husband had been given an item for Valentine's day by his wife. Think of an iPod Touch. Only...he already owns one. And she bought it two months ago. Like, before Christmas. And she never noticed he already owned one! And now he's mad that we won't take it back for a full refund, because it has been too long since it was purchased.

So, lemme tell you: It doesn't matter how much you spend on the gift. It doesn't matter if UPS delivers it on time. It doesn't matter if a giant snowstorm invades half of your country and stops all deliveries. What matters is how much attention you pay to the actual person, how you treat them the other 364 days of the year. Changing diapers, fixing the cupboard door, a back rub, remembering to tell them how you feel every day...those things are worth far more. And UPS can't lose them.

Fat and Healthy--With Proof

2010-02-08T10:50:00.000-08:00

You will be happy to know I am not diabetic. I am not even pre-diabetic. My cholesterol is low enough (although my HDL is not high enough, but I can fix that), my thyroid is happy, my blood counts are all correct, my metabolic panel is all correct, I am not anemic (although they said I must be slow to reproduce as I can only give blood every other time), and my doc is fairly happy.

I do, however, have a sinus infection, but that is good news, as I have been fighting it for years and it flared up on que to be seen while I was in the office this morning--maybe the scrip she wrote me will take care of it, finally (previously I was unable to convince a doctor that there was a problem, this one had the benefit of seeing me three weeks apart).

So there :-)

Ice Skating

2010-02-01T09:32:00.001-08:00

In my quest to behave more like the children in my life, I went ice skating with Nate and Li'l Sis's youth group yesterday.

Quest to behave more like the kids? Well, kind of. I am trying to have more fun without letting my weight dictate the kind of fun I am 'allowed' to have. I ran around and played as a child and have yet to figure out why I gave it up.

Ice skating is on my list of Fun Things to Do, and I would love to take a few lessons. Earlier this winter I had read Fat Girl's Guide to Living's post on ice skating and found it helpful, but I didn't have much in the way of advanced notice, so most of the tips I wasn't able to follow.

I expected ankle problems but once one of the youth group moms tightened my skates for me, that wasn't an issue. (poor Nancy--she actually developed laces-tightening blisters!) My main issue seemed to be pain in the ball of my foot, which was unexpected, along with the fact that the rink was out of my size of skates by the time I got to the front of the line, so I ended up in men's hockey skates, which just aren't as comfortable. If I do decide to take lessons at some point, my own pair of skates is definitely in order!

All in all, I went out three or four times for a few laps each, and then passed my skates off to a skateless teenager. Never fell, and even skated backwards some :-) I am hoping the pain I experience can be alleviated by a combination of good skates and more experience as the skating itself is quite fun.

Junonia, Part 8: The Conclusion

2010-01-31T08:16:00.001-08:00

The tracking number they gave me came alive later that day and I have actually received my order. They charged me the shipping that they had promised to refund, and I will call one more time to be removed from their mailing list. This was definitely a case of too little, too late.

The main problem here is not that the company had difficulty shipping my order on time. That happens--it's part of running a business like this one. The problem was the absolute lack of truthfulness or transparency, the piles and piles of lies (come on--a fake tracking number just to get me off the phone?), the clear message that Junonia does not care about their customers. As someone who works very hard to care about her customers, and works for a company that prides itself on doing so, I simply have no use for a company like Junonia.

Junonia, Part 7: Three Full Weeks Later

2010-01-28T15:05:00.000-08:00

Last night I received a message on my phone from a mysterious Kelly at Junonia, who wanted to discuss my order with me. I called back, only to be told that she had just left, she only works until 6. I said to have her call me back today...and she did not. So I just called again. They said she had already gone home. I asked what time it was. It was 5. Um, ok, so 'six' means 'five' like 'in stock' means 'we have no idea' and 'in shipping' means 'we still have no idea'.

Then they told me that my order has shipped and gave me a tracking number. Oh, joy! I checked the tracking number on UPS and....it doesn't exist. Just like the FedEx tracking number they gave me two weeks ago. Somehow, I just can't get my hopes up.

Why I Get Paid the Big Bucks

2010-01-27T10:07:00.001-08:00

(Ok, not so big.) Today's happy customer was looking for Wikipedia. Sadly, in his quest for this font of knowledge, he accidentally bought a tantric sex manual! This is why the internet should require a driver's test, folks. I got him a refund for his accidental purchase, and directed him toward the Wikipedia site. Once there, I suggested he enter a search term. A search term? He had no time for search terms! He just wanted to have Wikipedia. For his very own. I attempted to enlighten him but I don't think the seeds took root.

In the process, he also ran across some Haiti Relief ads and accused me of begging for money. And when he hung up he said he was upset. Some days...

Junonia, Part 6: Still In Process

2010-01-27T10:05:00.000-08:00

Daphine tells me my order is 'in process'. I am beginning to wonder what that process is. Given the various forms my order has gone through, perhaps they are attempting to conjure it up with magic spells?

Junonia, Part 5: It's Back in the Box!

2010-01-26T14:58:00.000-08:00

Riiiiight. According to Stephanie, today my order is 'in the shipping process' and 'just about to go out'. Of course, she can't tell me when it WILL ship or how long it has been 'in the shipping process'.

We'll see.

Because Healthy Isn't Healthy if it Isn't On Our Terms

2010-01-26T14:49:00.000-08:00

Whole Foods Staffers to Pay Less If They Weigh Less

Apparently for Whole Foods stores, which I used to adore but now will not patronize, it isn't enough that you eat whole foods! No, you have to eat whole foods AND not smoke AND be skinny AND have the 'right' cholesterol numbers and blood pressure numbers. Otherwise, if you work for them, they will charge you more for the healthy food!

Does this make absolutely no sense to anyone else? You are not healthy enough for us...therefore we want to make it more expensive for you to get healthier...because we people whose numbers are perfect deserve it....good gracious.

Junonia, Part 4: Day 18 and Still More Lies

2010-01-25T10:46:00.000-08:00

Today's call to Junonia netted me an associate named Sherona. Sherona informed me that not only is my order not in a box, waiting for the UPS truck (as Friday's and Saturday's associates had told me), that no one has even begun on it. She said too many people ahead of me in line are still waiting on their orders. She has no idea, she said, why anyone would have told me differently.

I have some ideas.

Junonia, Part 3: The Count-Up Continues

2010-01-23T09:28:00.000-08:00

I called. My 'waiting in a box for UPS' order...didn't go out with today's UPS shipment. Hmm...wonder why that is?

I did, finally, get a person on the phone (ironically male) who actually seemed to care, and is refunding my shipping, without being asked. Or, at least, he says he is...I have been lied to so many times that I do not dare get my hopes up.

And, no, no response from the ever-peppy Anne Kelley who is 'so happy to serve' me.

Junonia, Part 2: Still Falling Down on the Job

2010-01-22T15:42:00.001-08:00

Yesterday I sent this letter to Junonia's uber-cheerful 'Founder' (sorry...have to listen to her 'we're so happy' message every time I call):

Anne,

I am sorry to say that I will never shop with your company again. I have also shared these sentiments on my blog, where I frequently write about issues we face as plus-size women, and about my journey towards a more active lifestyle.

The reason that I will no longer buy from your company is that I have experienced some of the worst customer service of my life in the last two weeks (outdone only be telecommunications companies). I work for [insert best customer service company in universe] and I simply cannot tolerate the practices of your company, from a consumer's point of view, as I would never treat a customer as I have been treated.

On January 7th I placed an order for three items, all listed in stock. The email confirmation I received said all items were in stock and would ship immediately. One week later, having received neither a shipping notice nor my package, I called your company and was informed that the order would ship out the next day and was given a Fedex Tracking number. I checked this tracking number the next day, and the next, and the next, with no results. I called again, I believe last Friday. At this point I was informed that my items were backordered and would have to wait for an inventory to be done, and that someone would call me back (no one ever did). I called again this Monday and was told the items would ship out on Tuesday or Wednesday and I would be given free next-day shipping. Today is Thursday and, having received no package, I called one more time. This time I was told that the items were there, but they simply aren't going to be shipped yet, and no one can tell me when I should receive them. This is two full weeks after the email confirmation, which stated that all items were in stock and would ship immediately. Apparently, there is another definition for 'immediately' of which I was not aware.

I understand from some of your representatives, who, frankly, did not seem to care about my order, that you moved your warehouse and stopped shipping all orders in order to do inventory. While I can understand the necessity of the first and the lure of the second, it is bad practice to not put a notice on your website, during the order process, and in the confirmation emails that all shipping is halted, so that your customers are not left hanging as I have been. I know that if you had placed an order with the company I work for, and for some reason we were not able to fulfill it on time, we would contact you to let you know, not leave you waiting for weeks and making call after call, getting a different story each time until finally you feel like your money and your items are being held ransom.

I hope in the future your company will provide both a good product and good service, but unfortunately, I am not willing to wait for it.

Sincerely,
Jennifer -----

Today I called again. They said that--happy news!--my items had been BOXED and were waiting for UPS. Yeah...right. Do they staff with snails and sloths, or what? Actually, having been told more than once over the last two weeks that my items were on the brink of shipping...I think it's hogwash.

Junonia

2010-01-21T14:30:00.000-08:00

I am very sorry to say that I will never buy from Junonia again. This is unfortunate, because they carry items that are difficult to find elsewhere. But their customer service has been inexcusable.

Two full weeks ago, on January 7th, I placed an order. My order confirmation email specifically says all items are in stock and will ship immediately. As of today, they have not yet shipped. As of today, the only further communication has been when I have called them--they didn't call or email me to let me know that things were running extremely late. I have called four times and two of those times have been told everything was about to ship out. But it has not. Apparently they have moved their entire warehouse AND done a stop-all-shipping inventory during this time. No notices on the website to let customers know this would happen, though.

Where I work, you get an email if your items will arrive either early or late. We don't shut down an entire company to count things. We don't leave customers hanging. Unfortunately, we also don't sell plus-size active wear, so the search will continue.

I Know It Isn't Summer...

2010-01-16T07:16:00.000-08:00

but I just found this site and it is really, really neat, so I thought I would pass it along. I haven't bought anything, just 'window shopped' but I have never seen such a huge collection of suits and, since I am likely never going to buy from Junonia again after my most recent experience with them, this find is certainly timely.

Swimsuits for All sells suits for size 8 and up. From functional to pretty, including post-mastectomy styles.

Waste

2010-01-13T07:54:00.000-08:00

Last night was my grandma's birthday, so we had a family dinner at a local restaurant (with the absolute best soup-and-salad bar in the area). Li'l Sis and I both left chocolate on the table, uneaten, and she got chided for it (I think they have all given up on trying to impact my eating habits. Yay.) The thing is, though...chocolate is not sacred. No food is.

When I make a dress, I buy a length of fabric, and inevitably, I throw a bunch in the garbage--the scraps. Am I wasting them? Of course not. Those pieces of fabric would get in the way of creating a well-fitting, flattering garment.

When an artist sculpts something out of clay, there's scraping, trimming, and tossing. Is that waste? No, if the artist were forced to incorporate every bit of clay from the block, we'd have an ugly masterpiece, indeed.

Haircuts, woodworking, scrapbooking, even a little child's artwork--all of it involves tossing the extraneous material. Why should a meal be any different? If the aim of eating a meal is physical and emotional satisfaction, and giving energy to the body, then there are times-many times for some-when that means leaving food on the plate. The broccoli is bitter, the chocolate is too sweet or not tasty enough, the stomach is simply not asking for quite that much food...I would really like to see 'wasted' food seen in the same light as tossing the fabric scraps, trimming the clay away and sanding the wood, rather than the all-too-common moral imperative to clean one's plate. Not to mention the fact that if you aren't hungry and you eat the food just to get it eaten...it's still wasted, only you still have to deal with it.

White Rice: Not the Breakfast of Champions

2010-01-12T09:36:00.000-08:00

So, the question on your minds, I am sure, is why Jennifer would eat a bowl of white rice for breakfast? I will tell you.

My mom and my sister were diagnosed with pre-diabetes and diabetes, respectively, within a few months of one another. I figured it behooved me to find out of I had it as well. So, I bought a glucose meter and ran the equivalent of a glucose tolerance test on myself, using rice rather than that nasty syrup they give you at the labs, or jelly bellies, which make my stomach unhappy. (if you don't know--you can actually use jelly belly jelly beans--so all you pregnant ladies, go armed with this info to your prenatal appointments! LOL)

The results? Nothing too terrible but not great, either.
Fasting level: 90
1 hour after eating rice: 164
2 hours: 112
3 hours: 86

The interesting thing is that I was trying to get used to my meter yesterday (rather than using it for the first time at 5:30 a.m.) and tested myself an hour after eating a turkey salad sandwich. I tested at 84, which is really good.

The only explanation I can come up with is that I don't handle straight carbs well. This, of course, would explain why I rarely drink soda, and then only with a meal, always have to have protein with my breakfast, can no longer happily eat the amounts of rice and other carbs that I used to eat, and that apples make me hungry. I have decided that by eating intuitively, I have allowed my body to tell me what it can and can not deal with, and have basically been managing my sensitive blood sugar without knowing the numbers and dealing with sore fingertips.

I will, of course, be calling my doctor's office and requesting an A1C test to confirm this theory.

Now, if the question in your minds has become, 'Will this scare Jennifer back onto the diet bandwagon where she belongs?' then you clearly have not been reading what I have written, and you suffer from some misconceptions.

First, being fat does not cause diabetes. Being diabetic frequently does cause weight-gain, and that is where you get the correlation, but you don't cause diabetes by what you eat or what you weigh, and losing weight doesn't magically make it go away.

Secondly, even if losing weight made diabetes go away, the fact is that 99% of diets fail. And weight cycling IS bad for diabetes (weight cycling is another risk factor), and is also bad for my mental health, and so I will never, ever be going there again.

Thirdly, Intuitive Eating has brought me to a place where I feel better than I have in years and I can't imagine abandoning it now would make me healthier.

And, finally, I choose not to live in fear.

Self-perception, Again.

2010-01-05T22:05:00.000-08:00

I started Karate class tonight. After three years of watching from the sidelines, I thought it was about time.

The lady leading the warm-ups looked at me after a few minutes and said, "So you're one of the flexible types!"

I actually argued with her. I have never, ever thought of myself as flexible, but apparently I have been mistaken. Somehow I had a misconception about body size and composition as it equates (or doesn't equate) to being flexible. I am now in the process of re-adjusting my understanding.

Class was fun. I survived. Might regret it in the morning, though!

Yes, Boobs and Brains CAN Co-exist!

2009-12-23T09:55:00.001-08:00

Verizon came to repair my line today. I called them on Saturday while it was raining to tell them that there was a problem (losing my connection to my employer is not a good thing). They said 24-48 hours but didn't show up until today (I did get three automated phone calls telling me how important I am, which makes that all better).

When the man came I explained that there must be some cracks in the insulation because the problems I experienced only happened in wet weather. He said he didn't see any problems, and I pointed out that it was sunny. He said I might have to wait for it to rain again. I said that was not acceptable and that I did call while it was raining and if he checked the line test from Saturday he could clearly see the issue. Mostly, though, he didn't seem to believe that I could possibly diagnose the issue. (awww, look at the little woman...she thinks because she spends all day talkin' on the phone she actually knows somethin' about it!)

Half an hour later he shows up at my door, proud of himself for discovering that there was some cracks in the insulation...no, really?

See, I am an old-fashioned girl. Well, not a girl anymore, but you get my drift. But old-fashioned doesn't mean Neanderthal, people! Yes, I usually wear a skirt and yes, I enjoy having doors opened for me, and it kills me that women have scared or cajoled men out of behaving like gentleman, but yes, I also am fairly intelligent and appreciate being taken seriously. Find the line between patronizing patriarch-ism and militant feminism, please, and walk it.

Our View of Ourselves

2009-12-21T15:19:00.000-08:00

I was going through photos of myself as a child today. I kept saying, 'Oh, I was so cute!' and Nate kept looking over at the photos and saying, 'Gee, you look just the same.' And I would see photos of my mom and say, 'My mom is so beautiful!' and Nate points out, again, that I look just the same, LOL.

How does that jive? Although I have been redefining my view of beauty, and have come to believe that I am beautiful, I guess I still had myself graded pretty low...and looking at the pictures I was thinking I used to be adorable. Nate set me straight, I guess.

I have heard/read/seen women talking about themselves lately and it makes me so sad. One woman who hopes she can lose weight so her husband might finally love her, one who says she'll never be pretty but she wants to at least be thin, etc. I cry for women. We have a very low view of ourselves--all of us! We need to overcome that...and I have no idea how.

Murphy's Law, the Snow Day Corollary

2009-12-15T08:22:00.000-08:00

States:
The day you get up at 4:30 to be showered, dressed and ready because your boss is doing home inspections, and your son gets butt-dialed and woken up at 6:15...is the day your boss is home sick and school is on a 2-hour delay.

Actually, since I have never been a public-school parent, we very nearly forgot to check for a snow delay and the kid almost walked to German class two hours early!

So Has I

2009-12-05T14:59:00.000-08:00

Generally my job is answering phone calls, and it can be quite entertaining (plus..seriously, I get paid to talk on the phone. Had I known, as a teenager, that this could be a career, my life would have been quite different). This weekend, however, due to unforeseen events on the other side of the globe, my job has been changed to answering emails. This is even more entertaining!

Today my favorite email, in its entirety, was this:

I has stopped everything.

I'm not quite sure what they are getting at here, and I am confident that I was no help to them whatsoever, but various things occur to me. Is stopping everything good or bad? Were they in need of a vacation? By any chance, does 'everything' include typing? Is there a particular reason I needed to know that everything has been stopped? Or was this just to make me feel ultra productive for the day?

You know all those people who complain that tech support instructions make no sense? This is why, folks. This is the audience we are trying to cater to.

A Mental Exercise

2009-12-03T19:42:00.000-08:00

Lately I have had fun with an exercise, I believe from Intuitive Eating, which goes something like this:

Imagine that a spell were cast on the world that locked everyone into their current weight. Nothing anyone would do from this time forward would change their weight one iota. Nothing you do will change your weight one single ounce! How would you live life differently?

Scary thought? It was for me, at first, as well. I could not imagine being happy at my current weight, so in my imagination, decades of misery stretched out before me. So sad!

Three years later, the story is different. And, that story in my imagination is much, much closer to my reality.

I eat freely, and in a way that feels good. I don't deny a hungry tummy the food it needs, and I rarely overfill it (and when I do, it's only by a smidge, no more pants-unbuttoning, uncomfortable belly!). I eat a variety of foods as my body requests them, from the 'healthy' foods to the 'fun' foods.

I move for the sake of moving and because I like how my body feels. My goals are different--to have strong legs, to go cross-country skiing, to have fun.

I buy and make clothes that fit me, right now. No more buying things that are too tight with the goal of fitting into them! No more denying myself clothes because I am too fat to deserve them! No more trying to hide or disguise the real me! And no more do I feel, after trying on something that doesn't work, that my body is the problem. Now I know it's the clothes.

I stop seeing myself through others' eyes, or my imaginary picture of others' eyes.

I love my physical self. I see all the positive things about my body now. It's strong and sturdy, with nice, dense bones, and curvy and sexy and it takes me where I want to go and it does what I want it to do.

What does your picture look like? What would letting go of the number on the scale set you free from? What richness could be added to your life?

I Wish All My Customers Were Kids

2009-12-01T14:59:00.000-08:00

My last customer today was about 11 years old. From time to time, I get a child on the phone. I wish all my customers were kids! Now, my view is probably skewed a bit because, of course, the kids who call tech support are clearly kids whose parents allow them to do so (one would assume) and who, therefore, are probably the kind of kids who are encouraged to be thoughtful, polite, etc. But this is what I know--they do what I tell them to do, without arguing. They explain the problem they are having quite clearly and generally without telling me what they think went wrong (and when they do tell me, invariably it makes me smile). They are extremely honest about what they did to their gadgets. And they are very, very tech-savvy.

More than once, I have been on the phone with a parent who is calling about a device they have never used. I usually ask to speak the kid. After all, if I tell the parent and the parent tells the kid...well, playing tech-support telephone is not a recipe for great results. Plus, I love to talk to kids.

I think there's a lesson here. Children are very capable, of more than most parents realize. And if we treat them like regular people, and expect them to conduct business like we would expect any over-18-year-old person to conduct themselves, they generally have no problem doing so. They don't need to be babied when it comes to interpersonal relations. (I think that's one of the reasons I dislike the standard school system--keeping them all cooped up in rooms full of people just the same age keeps them from developing adult-level social skills.)

Everyone I Know Is On A Diet

2009-12-01T07:20:00.000-08:00

Ok, so not literally everyone. Nate, for instance, has never dieted and never will. But, you know, he's 14. Of course, he serves as a pretty darn good example of intuitive eating (rather than 'controlled' eating). It certainly seems, though, that everyone is dieting right now.

One would think that after years of work in this area, I would be ok with other people's food talk. But when it comes to talk about diets, controlled eating, etc, it still seems to be a bit of a trigger, and if nothing else, drives me nuts. Plus, I usually care about these people and it hurts me to see them hurting themselves...and being so gleeful about it much of the time. History does repeat itself, however, and I know that the glee is temporary and the misery is sure to follow.

Part of my problem is pride. With everyone talking about how 'good' they are being, my only counter would be...I have learned that I don't need that kind of good. No one that hasn't also taken this journey is going to understand. I am sure that most people think I have simply given up, and see that as a moral failing. It isn't a moral failing, though, it's a physical and mental healing. And it isn't nearly as quantifiable. I can't give you a dress size, scale number, whatever, to prove that I have made progress. And most people wouldn't be able to see the progress that I have made through the fuzzy lenses of diet thinking that they have on. Not to mention, it would be totally rude to answer, "I'm down two sizes!" with, "Well, we all know that won't last."

Part of it is hurt feelings. Probably childish ones, but they are there nonetheless. Nice for you that you lost weight...so what you are telling me is that you are more beautiful than I am? That beauty is quantifiable in numbers? I don't believe that, but occasionally the overwhelming strength of others' beliefs throws me off balance.

All in all, I have been on the path they are on, it's rough and it leads to nowhere. While it's frequently hard to remember that (and boy am I dreading the new year's diet push!), I don't want to go back. I don't need outside validation that intuitive eating is the way to go, at least for me. I don't need everyone else to see their own beauty in order to keep seeing mine. I don't need other people to enjoy physical activity in order for me to enjoy it and not see it as punishment of some sort. I do, apparently, need to keep telling myself all of this over and over, though!

Verizon Still Sucks...but Tom Doesn't.

2009-11-30T14:21:00.000-08:00

Had to call Verizon again today...more billing issues. *Groan* Blessedly, though, the person on the other end of the line was a man named Tom in Tucson. Tom is clearly the most intelligent person in Verizon's customer service team. He actually figured everything out, explained it in a way I can understand, and, most importantly, took care of the issues. He didn't even transfer me. Not once.

I love Tom. I hope he gets what he wants for Christmas. He deserves it.

More Tips from Tech Support

2009-11-25T09:47:00.001-08:00

(see Tips From Tech Support if you have not already done so)

Today's crazy making (and here I am, only on my lunch break!)

As I said in tip one before, presumably you call tech support because we know more than you do. So stop arguing with us already!

Do not argue with me over security policies. I will not risk my job and make an exception for you. You are not that special.

Do not hack the operating system of your device and then call me and complain that things are not working like they should. It is your fault. I cannot fix it. Or you.

And, finally, this self-mutilation-inducing call (as usual, details obscured to protect my Superhero Identity):

My Toyota doesn't seem to be running very well.
Oh, I am sorry to hear that. I assume you put unleaded, regular fuel in the tank?
Well, no, actually I used some diesel fuel that I had leftover from my Peterbilt.
Sir, diesel fuel is not going to work in your Toyota.
Yes, it will! See, diesel fuel is this neat stuff that makes my Peterbilt run and it's really great and so I am using it with the Toyota. It worked for a little while...before it stopped working.
Sir, we are familiar with diesel fuel. It will not work in your Toyota.
But it-
Sir, we do not support the use of diesel fuel in your Toyota. You NEED to use unleaded, regular fuel.
Well, I guess I can try that...

Why Verizon Sucks

2009-11-23T14:13:00.000-08:00

(I don't normally say 'sucks' but in this case, I can't find a better word! Worse words follow, FYI)

After spending hours and hours on the phone with Verizon, I think I have a good handle on why they suck. My experiences are as follows:
When I found out that I would be working from home (yay!) I phoned to ask them to upgrade my internet and add a landline. Since they are a telecommunications company, one would think this would be simple, but no...I was given a waiting period of WEEKS. Seriously? They couldn't explain except to say that an actual repairman had to come out. This made no sense, after all, I already had internet, and you can't tell me that no one who ever lived here had a landline. But I wouldn't want them to argue if they called MY company and I told them to stand on their head while pushing 'back'. So I waited.

On October 2, the repairman came to my house...and left...after doing nothing. He said the orders didn't make sense, he couldn't complete them, and told Nate to tell me to 'call the office.' Easier said than done! What office? What number? What do I ask?

I spent THREE HOURS that afternoon on the phone with at least seven people, hung up on twice, transferred innumerable times, and generally becoming convinced that Verizon has a maximum IQ for their employees. No one could figure out what was going on, give me any answers, or get anything taken care of. THREE HOURS, during which I was supposed to be working, but could not. After WEEKS of commuting to the site when I should have been working from home (it turns out all they needed to do was flip a couple switches...seriously). After that three hours, a supervisor named Cindy in St. Louis promised to call me after my bill came out to discuss compensating me for the hell they had put me through.

Today I was balancing my checkbook and found that Verizon had taken money from my acct. They are not supposed to do that. I have never received a bill, like I am supposed to and Cindy never called. So I just spent another hour on the phone with seven more people, none of whom were very helpful. And during that call I found that I had been OVERCHARGED as well. Nice news!

Here is what I have learned:
Verizon associates have no insight into their own company. Each associate can only see into your account as far as their own duties reach. So, for instance, if someone is a weekend worker in the phone department, they can only see enough to facilitate weekend emergencies with your phone, even if they are, say, working on a Monday morning. If someone is in the internet department, they cannot see that you have phone service. Now, this is a company that advertises BUNDLING. One would think that bundling would mean, you know...putting it all together.

Verizon associates cannot transfer phone calls internally. If they need to send you elsewhere, they would actually have to go through the same phone tree that you or I would have to go to, and that takes too much time and trouble, so they just dump you in there with no instructions even on which buttons to push. You never know who you will get next, and every single time you get someone, you have to start from scratch.

Verizon makes it difficult to speak to a supervisor. In the company I work for, if you ask for a supervisor, I will give you one--even if you have no good reason. At Verizon, they apparently have to type up a paper explaining why they would need to bother a supervisor.

Verizon doesn't give its associates any power. They don't get to make decisions. This would be in keeping with the maximum IQ requirement (I would guess smart associates get the hell out as soon as possible).

Verizon doesn't really care about their customers. I found the continual 'thank you for holding! you and your time are so important to us!' hold messages absolutely insulting given the experiences I have had with that company.

Now, I know my view is skewed by the fact that I work for THE company with the GREATEST customer service in this solar system. I know not all companies can be us, but can't they at least give a damn?

In my company, I can see what's going on in your account, even if has nothing to do with my job. My bosses trust me to make choices, even choices about giving away money, free product, etc. I don't have to explain myself. If you asked for a supervisor I would have one on the phone with you in a couple minutes, and that is whether you had a complaint or a compliment. If I needed to transfer you, the person I gave you to would almost always greet you by name and know why you needed to speak to them.

And we would never, EVER, make you spend three hours on the phone because of our own screw-up.

Eating My Words

2009-11-19T19:45:00.000-08:00

Tonight was promotion night at Jukido. I was sure it was too soon for Nate to get promoted--after all, he just made orange in the Spring. But I was wrong, and am now the mother of a Blue belt!

Does Our Insurance Cover Mental Health?

2009-11-18T12:25:00.001-08:00

Normally Nate can wander in my 'office' and chat with me or ask schoolwork questions between calls. I thought I should let him know that this afternoon we are running a stress test and I won't be available. He asked me what a stress test is.
"Well, for a couple hours we are going to run at top capacity, until--"
"One of you cracks?"

Yes, son, they are performing experiments on the employees. (fyi, it's to test the equipment/systems)

At Least Chivalry Isn't Dead

2009-11-12T12:26:00.000-08:00

I am sitting in my bedroom/office, eating ribs and home fries. Nate is sitting in the living room, reading a book he was supposed to save for his trip this weekend. We hear a crashing noise. I say, "Do I WANT to know?"
"That didn't come from your room?"
"No...."
"Good. No need to rescue you, then!" and he keeps on reading...

I still don't know what the noise was.

Backlash

2009-11-06T19:33:00.000-08:00

Over the last couple of days I have noticed that I am eating when I am not hungry, and in kind of a desperate mode, and uncomfortable, and not enjoyably at all. This is rather unusual for me, at least over the last several months.

Today I figured out why. I have not been honoring my hunger.

What has happened is that I have been lazy in the mornings. I don't cook breakfast, and instead went to having a cup of cocoa, and then eventually to having nothing at all until my first break. Then I am starving but nothing really sounds good (my first break is at 7:30 a.m.) but I try to grab something and eat it while working. Then I eat something, or maybe not, on my 'lunch' break (9:15 a.m.), and then I am overly hungry by the time I get to my second short break, and then I eat while working, and from there it just goes even further downhill.

I am not eating enough early in the day and it throws me off completely! My poor body thinks I am starving it again, and it reacts badly to that both physically and psychologically. The result is an overwhelming urge to eat even when I am not hungry.

So, I suppose I should cook up a decent breakfast before I go to bed tonight, or at the very least set my alarm a few minutes earlier so that I have time in the morning. I have to stop this cycle, or I'll just spiral down until my eating is as un-intuitive as it gets. No fun!

Italian Bean Soup

2009-11-06T10:33:00.000-08:00

For a change of pace, I thought I would share last night's dinner with you.

Italian Bean Soup

1 lb mixed beans (I find these are cheaper in bulk. If you buy them in a bag, please throw away any nasty ham flavor packets that are included)
1 box/4 cups or so chicken broth
1 lb bulk Italian sausage, cooked and crumbled
1 or 2 cans Italian-style diced tomatoes (or the equivalent of another kind of tomatoes)
1 large onion, diced
Generous sprinkling of Italian seasoning

Put the beans in your crockpot, pick out any stones or anything, and cover with plenty of water. Leave the crockpot unplugged but soak the beans all night.
The next morning, pour off that water. Add the remaining ingredients, if that doesn't look like enough liquid add a bit of water (you may want to wait on that, things don't dry out in the crock pot as quickly as elsewhere), and cook for a long time on low or not so long on high. Beans being what they are, the cooking time can vary.

Serve with parmesan.

If I Go Crazy, Take Two

2009-11-05T16:11:00.000-08:00

Today's insanity-inducing call (and here I will pretend I work for iPhone. I don't, but you know the drill):

"Thank you for calling iPhone support! How can I help you?"
"I am VERY UNHAPPY."
"I'm sorry to hear that. What can I do to help?"
"I bought one of these iPhone thingabobs and today I went to buy some movies for it. They almost all cost money! I don't understand! Why should I pay more to have a movie on my iPhone when I can get it at the library on DVD for free? The whole idea was that I could take the movie to Starbucks, and it would be easy to carry. But most of your movies cost money!"
"Well, we do have some free movies, but most movie prices are set by the studios and-"
"I know that! But these should be free! I want to watch Gone With the Wind and look, it costs 3.99!"
"I'm sorry about that, I-"
"So I checked some movies out from the library. Will they work on the iPhone?"
"Well, it depends on the-"
"Where are they?"
"Pardon me?"
"Where are the movies I got from the library?"
"Ma'am, that would depend on where you put them when you got home."
"Well, every house has a shelf to put movies on. Help me find mine!"
"Ma'am, I'm sorry, but I don't know where you put your movies. You could look around for them."
"You don't know much about houses, do you? Every house has a shelf!"
"Yes, every house has a shelf, but every house is different and-"
"You are supposed to help me! Tell me where to find my movies!"
"I'm sorry ma'am, but if you don't know where you put your movies, I really can't help you."
"I want to talk to your supervisor. You aren't any help!"

My poor supervisor. He had a very similar experience. And there were so many things I would like to have said to this customer.

Poof

2009-11-04T07:35:00.000-08:00

Why did the walking blog disappear? Because I found that it was more trouble to post about my walking than it was to just walk! I think that is a good thing-I walk most days and I enjoy it and it isn't something I have to force myself to do anymore. But it was taking up room on here and it felt like a burden to have to post about it. So, I may still post about my walking from time to time (still looking for some sort of definitive goal) but figured I would take down the running list. Um...walking list?

Could I Have Some of What He's Smoking?

2009-11-02T07:27:00.000-08:00

Just for fun, I read this article in our local paper, the Tri-City Herald. It's about a local guy, Chet Biggerstaff, who wants a marijuana co-op for our area. Now, I have very little in the way of opinion on medical marijuana. It's legal in this state. But what Biggerstaff (pardon...somewhere in his lineage someone HAD to have been making up for feelings of inferiority) wants to do is put a storefront on marijauna cultivation. That is shameful. More shameful is that the landlords at the Parkway have allowed him to rent space there. This would be the place where free movies are shown for kids, free concerts thrown for families, the Farmer's Market shows up every Friday for half the year...what, are we gonna let him sell pot next to the peaches? I think it's abominable.

But that isn't why I am posting. I am posting because I think this guy is hilarious. Take a look at these quotes:

"More than likely we'll open and they'll shut us down and arrest me and I'll have to deal with it in court. I firmly believe most of the people in Richland and the Tri-Cities in general are for this."

Yes, you are right. Most people may be all-for your going to jail.

Biggerstaff also claims he's been harassed by Richland officers who he says have pulled him over and come to his house on an "anonymous" tip about a marijuana grow in his backyard.
Biggerstaff said his latest harassment by officers was Oct. 23, when he was pulled over for having expired tabs on his license plate. He said he was on his way home when an officer drove past him, turned onto the next street, then sat and waited for him to drive by.
He admits his tabs were expired, but questions why so many officers were required for a traffic stop. He was not cited, just warned to take care of it. "Why have I been pulled over so many times and not cited?"Biggerstaff said he's been stopped by Richland cops two or three times, but the only other instance he could recall was when an officer said he was "changing lanes too quickly in the middle of rush hour traffic."

So, you have been harrassed by....the police doing their job following drug hotline tips...and not arresting you...and the police doing their job by pulling over people with expired license tabs...and following protocol by having more than one car at the scene (this would happen if they pulled my little white-haired granny over, it's a basic safety precaution)...and not arresting you, and not even giving you a ticket for a clear violation of the law?! Because, the last time I was pulled over for expired tabs, I got quite a whopper of a ticket! Could I please have some harrassment?

Oh, by the way, if you can't remember all the times you were pulled over? You may be smoking too much pot.

My Magnetic Personality

2009-10-26T14:11:00.000-07:00

According to my dad, I have a magnetic personality. No, he doesn't mean that I am attractive (although I am, of course). He means I break things. With the mere power of my presence.

Lately this has meant things like being stuck home with a nonstarting vehicle, no hot water and no clothes dryer. Dad came over to take a look at the car (after giving me an emergency ride to the doc's office...another long story) and it started right up for him. He drove it home, washed it off, called me to tell me I was imagining things...at which point the car quite working. See? All he had to do was talk to me while he was near the car and it quit! Then we hooked the computer up to it and drove all over town and it refused to misbehave-so we couldn't get a reading to figure out what is wrong.

The hot water heater's pilot light went out and for the life of me, I could not get it re-lit. The maintenance guy started it up with no problem and now I am afraid to go down into my own basement for fear that the mere sight of me will thrust us back in time to when we had to heat our water on the stove to do dishes (it isn't that far back...last week for me!).

The car now runs sometimes and the water is hot, but the clothes dryer is still drying for only 10 minutes at a time, requiring an hour break between each stint. I have been hanging clothes all over the house trying to get them dry but Mt. Washmore is still growing daily in my hallway and we are running out of clean clothes. I am hoping the mere act of dismantling the timer mechanism and putting it back together will cause it to work again...but I would have to go near the water heater to do that, and I just don't know which appliance is most important!

Everyone Loved Her

2009-10-07T09:32:00.000-07:00

Our family lost a dear friend yesterday.

It's rare that I can remember the first time I met someone. Rarer still when I met them at the age of five. It was New Year's Eve, the first year my parents let me stay up until midnight, if I remember correctly. Jessie was drunk, loud, obnoxious and amazing.

She carried a gun. She talked to me like a grown-up. She dyed my hair, let me get my ears double pierced and took me to see the Phantom of the Opera. She could drive from Seattle to here in 2.5 hours instead of the four it took everyone else. She borrowed my roller skates when I was only seven, and they fit her tiny feet and we went roller-skating together. How many grown-ups do that? Over three decades and three generations, she charmed every one of us.

Jessie lived years beyond the doctors' expectations. That fits her personality and force of will so well that I have a hard time believing she is gone. I have never been one for those fuzzy, childish, earthly-minded views of heaven, but today I find myself wondering if there are roller skates up there.

Hanging On To Dreams

2009-10-04T19:00:00.000-07:00

This morning Nate and I were chatting with a bright young man who is in the midst of filling out scholarship applications, as he begins college next year. Somehow this segued into Nate discussing what he wants to study and the limitations of local opportunities for a child of his age (Nate will be 14 in two weeks). After getting over the 'what grade are you in' hump (um...all of the above?), the bright young man asked Nate what he wanted to be when he grew up.

"I want to be in the FBI."

I winced. I feel awful about it, but it's true. I winced. Until that moment, Nate appeared intelligent, mature, older than his years...and then out came his childhood dream. Nate has wanted to be in the FBI since he was about six, except for a short period in the middle where he didn't think he could shoot to kill. Even though he is seriously considering going into the Navy, his career goal is still the FBI (or possibly NCIS, but he says very few people get into the NCIS).

This evening, while he's gone at youth group and I am sitting in the quiet with nothing to do but be circumspect, I have been pondering my reaction to his announcement. I guess part of me considers it a childish, impossible dream, and figures other people will hear him say that and *boom* think he's 10 years old. Finally it dawned on me. The FBI is real. There are real FBI agents. They did not get there by accident! Clearly, some people hold on to that childhood dream, and thank goodness they do!

Nate comes by his dream honestly enough, with law enforcement on both sides of the family. When he talks about his career goals, he talks about double government pensions. He is not a little boy any longer, and I guess it's about time his mother realized he's serious about this FBI business. So here's to hanging on to the dream!

Well, That Backfired

2009-10-03T18:31:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I was so tired that I called in and told the hotline I would be a couple hours late for work. My plan was, I would go back to sleep, and go to work later a much happier person. I am pretty stingy with my paid time off, so I must have been pretty dang tired.

It backfired.

In addition to having a hard time getting back to sleep, once I did, I spent over an hour in a harrowing nightmare. It went like this:

I was running for my life from a shape-shifter that was trying to kill me. My mom and my dad (who in my dream were nothing like my real parents) were running after me, as well. My mom kept trying to give me weapons with which to beat off my attacker. But the weapons would morph into useless items. For instance, she handed me a golf club that, once I swung it at the shape-shifter's head, became a spatula. My dad ran after us from location to location, but then he would sit down and read a newspaper and tell my mom she wasn't doing it right. Anytime I miraculously came close to killing the shape-shifter (once with a mixing bowl), it would take on the form of a baby, and then I couldn't bring myself to kill it.

Then my alarm went off.

It was anything but restful.

Modern Fairy Tales

2009-09-29T20:05:00.000-07:00

I was sitting unsuspecting in the ladies' room this evening when two short people (ages three and five) in matching Barbie Cheerleader outfits invaded. They were not, however, pretending to be Barbies. No, they were princesses of some sort (they could not remember their pretend names) and did not let nature's call stall (no pun intended) their fantasy. I kept as quiet as I could, so that I would not scare them back to reality.

The fantasy unfolded before my ears. The two princesses were apparently in great mourning, as over the course of our stay in the ladies' room, several of their fellow royal children were struck down by either plague or witches' curses. (their mothers were the witches, oddly enough).

What struck me as a harbinger of this century, however, was actually that the death notices came via text message. No joke! Some previously dead prince named Peter kept texting them with sad tidings. Whatever happened to scrolls? Heralds? The Pony Express? Sigh.

Please Don't Do This

2009-09-15T12:04:00.000-07:00

My friend, Jon, whom I have never seen with one shoe off, posted this on his journal. (You will need to click in order to understand)

So, here's the thing: Stuff like this? Doesn't help. While I can understand kinda-sorta where this woman was headed, the end result is yet another 'Christians are stupid and closed-minded!' experience. Do I disagree with most things our current president does, including aiming for nationalized health care? Of course. But, um, I have news: While Jesus died to forgive our sins, and hence paid for my life with His own blood, He is all powerful and really, did not charge people to heal them (as the sign might mistakenly be read to say), nor were such healings paid for by His death. He even healed ungrateful jerks (remember the 10 lepers?) for free. Now, that last part might be a bit closer to nationalized health care than is comfortable, but my point remains.

Think things through before painting them on signs, saying them, etc. Especially when dealing with unsaved people. Slogans like this are just too pointless and confusing, do nothing to help our country or our unsaved friends and, really, are a waste of poster paint.

Quiet, Dedicated Space

2009-09-13T08:05:00.000-07:00

I have three days to set up my home office.

This would not have been quite the imposition that it now is if I had realized, prior to Friday, that I can't have my home office in my dining room. The rules call for a door that shuts. This leaves only one possibility: my bedroom.

When we moved into this house two years ago, I took the small bedroom. The boys moved into the larger one, and that made sense. There's only one boy in there now, but that's a possibly temporary thing, so moving him into the small room doesn't make much sense in my book. But my sewing stuff is all in my room, along with my full-size mattress and box spring (no room for the bed frame!) and rather large dresser. Adding a desk and chair feels like putting together a puzzle that has too many pieces. I think the sewing room is going to have to go, somehow, which just about breaks my heart. If money were no object, I would buy a daybed and a dresser that was taller than it was wide. Money is quite the object, however, so I will have to spend the next few days putting that puzzle together.

The upside of all this whining is that, clearly, I was chosen for the work-at-home pilot :-)

Hard Walk Tonight

2009-09-08T19:16:00.000-07:00

At first I thought it was just because Nate wasn't walking with me, but by the end of the mere 11 minutes that I walked tonight, I was limping and wondering if I would make it home. Not sure what the difficulty was-three days off doesn't seem like it would be the reason, since I have had longer breaks. I did eat shortly before I left, and wonder if that could do it. And I wasn't feeling great today, but a nap cured most of that. Hmph. We'll see what tomorrow is like.

Shaking My Head

2009-09-07T10:31:00.000-07:00

You know every mother's curse on her children? It's the one that goes, "I hope you have one just like you!"

Nathan's response?

"I WANT that to happen. I want a whole bunch just like me. Then I will curse them so they have several like me...and pretty soon, my clones will take over the world!"

Not Enough Magic

2009-09-06T07:48:00.001-07:00

Where I work, we talk about having magic. I think this actually began because customers frequently say we have magic (since they can't grasp how we fix things). I even had one customer say he was taking me to Las Vegas to be his lucky charm. But sometimes, customers want things that we just can't do-like yesterday's cruise ship customer. Yeah, we have great magic, but we can't defy the natural laws of the universe.

That is why articles like this one make me laugh. Entitled 'Why Exercise Won't Make You Thin' and with the subtitle blurb 'Whether because exercise makes us hungry or because we want to reward ourselves, many people eat more — and eat more junk food, like doughnuts — after going to the gym' it is both absurd and stating the obvious. It seems researchers found that physical activity makes you hungry! No DUH! Any parent could tell you that (any mother who doesn't have a snack ready when the kids are done swimming clearly hasn't been paying attention).

Our bodies were indeed wonderfully made (no matter how you think they got made) and, lo and behold, when you ask them to use energy, they ask you for more energy. It's normal, natural and good.

As for eating junk food (if you believe there is such a thing-we don't use that term in our home) as a workout reward--well, that thinking is a natural outcome of faulty thinking about 'workouts'. Our culture in general sees exercise as a punishment for imperfect eating or imperfect bodies. If that is how you view physical activity, then you get caught in a loop. I ate a piece of cake, so I have to punish myself on the treadmill. I was so good at the gym that I can eat a piece of cake... and on and on. It's just so wrong, so self-defeating and so psychologically messed up!

Physical activity isn't a punishment or dues to be paid. It should be done for the joy of doing it. That is why I will never have a gym membership. I don't like treadmills or other machines that simulate real-world activities. I'd rather take a walk by the river where the scenery is nice, knowing that I will feel all warm and gushy afterwards, and enjoying the fresh air and sunshine. That is a joyful experience, where walking on a treadmill is...well, more like filing taxes.

It is also much easier to continue an active lifestyle if you are doing things that you find enjoyable AND when you are doing those things for reasons other than trying to obtain an unreachable goal. Because dieting and exercise rarely make someone thin (for long), and the exercise is associated with the dieting, people who do it for the sake of trying to be thin soon give up on both.

I have found that, after spending a couple years disconnecting dieting/trying to lose weight from physical activity, that physical activity is much more enjoyable, more varied, and now contains its own motivation. I will never be thin, but I get more active as time goes by. Maybe someone should do a study on that.

VTO

2009-09-05T14:27:00.000-07:00

Not long ago, I told you about MOT (mandatory overtime). VTO is MOT's evil twin...or vice versa, I haven't figured out which yet.

Voluntary Time Off. I got some today. It's always a happy surprise, but if you aren't careful, you happy-surprise yourself out of a decent paycheck. Today I thought my chances were slim, but I was fresh out of patience, so I signed up. After half a day of back-to-back calls, everything went dead and they sent me home.

Why was I fresh out of patience? Well, in addition to adjusting to a new schedule, I had some, um, interesting calls.

"So, someone ran my Thingabob over and I need to know what you can do."
It's in how many pieces? Didn't occur to me until after we hung up that, for his Thingabob to be run over, it had to be, you know, in the path of motor vehicles. Still trying to figure that one out.

While asking various security questions, I asked a man his zip code. He didn't know. He told me I could look it up 'in my book' and that it was just the same as all the rest of Manhattan! I think he missed the point...or several points.

One customer was mad that, after we made him a special offer that included making a choice as to which offer he would like, and he made his choice and clicked on one, then called to complain that 'the email didn't say I couldn't change my mind after I clicked!' (Bob, I will take door #2...no, wait, Door #3...wait....!)

And then, to top it off, I had a customer today who claimed I had provided him with the worst customer service experience of his life. He had broken his Thingabob, and was in London, about to step onto a cruise ship, and wanted me to either magically fix it over the phone or get him a new one...now, where did I put that magic wand?

Come to think of it, I should have sent him to talk to the British guy who called me 'a complete legend' this week. I hear that's a good thing, but I am still not sure. Sounded cool with his accent, though.

Looking a Gift Horse In the Mouth

2009-09-04T19:58:00.000-07:00

When I left for work this morning, I had one set of living room furniture, and when I got home, I had another. I am not ungrateful-my couches were falling apart, wires poking out and scraping paint off the walls, cushions coming apart. They were well used and well loved couches. But they were also very large, comfy, and nice colors. My new couches are small, ladylike, don't match anything in my room, and don't have room for friends to sleep over. Also, I spent part of the day wondering if the discarded couch's cushions held something of importance. No, really, I had no idea I was getting new furniture. I guess the suddenness is why I keep looking at them and thinking 'not right!' instead of 'finally!' Give me a few days, and I will be fine, I am sure.

I'm Driving a Red Lincoln

2009-09-01T20:41:00.000-07:00

Why, you may ask, is Jennifer driving a red Lincoln, when Jennifer bought a black Buick two weeks ago? Because Jennifer used her Mommy Voice at the dealership today. When I bought the car, the driver's side window would not roll down (note to car shoppers-try all windows!). Two days later the dealer called to ask me to bring the car back so they could fix it. Bonus points! I took it back and, two hours later, they still had not fixed it and said they needed another part. Um, okay....so back there today. Keep in mind, I have to drive thirty miles up the valley to get there. When I got there, I politely explained that prior to the last 'repair' appointment, all of the buttons worked on that door (save for that window) but afterwards, the lock/unlock and rear passenger's window buttons did not, and I expected they would fix those as well. We sat in the waiting room for FOUR HOURS. At the end of the four hours, my window was fixed, but not the other two buttons. The man just did not listen to me. I said it was unacceptable and ridiculous, and I work far too many hours and live too far away and do NOT get the gas mileage that the salesman told me I would get, and it was too much to expect me to come back even after I already explained the problem in time for them to fix it (and waited twice as long as expected). I spoke firmly enough to get the attention of this man's boss, and then had to explain the situation again to him. He gave me the red Lincoln to drive and said he would bring me my car when it is fixed. I sure hope it's soon because, remarkably, I can't stand the Lincoln.

Giving Homeschoolers a Good Name

2009-08-31T16:42:00.000-07:00

Me, to Nate, who supposedly (long story there) starts his first-ever public school course tomorrow morning: "So, should I find the school handbook and make you read it so you don't break any rules?"
"Mom! NO! If I read it I won't have plausible deniability!"
"Nate, there is no such thing as plausible deniability in the public school system."
"Oh, shoot. I was hoping for some lag time."

Aw, Shoot

2009-08-30T16:32:00.000-07:00

Nate outgrew an entire wardrobe in one week. I knew he was an inch taller when I picked him up than when he left for boot camp, but we thought that might be attributed to his learning to stand up straight. But now all of his shirts are too narrow in the shoulders all of a sudden. Hand-me-downs? Not on your life. Not only does Brandon wear his clothes to pieces, he prefers jeans and button-down flannel shirts. Nate won't touch either and lives in cargo pants and crew necks (when not in uniform). Given his color preferences, I should probably shop some army surplus store. Anyone know of a khaki-olive drab-navy sale?

Work at Home, Finally?

2009-08-29T12:34:00.001-07:00

Since I couldn't get them to send me overseas, I just turned in an application for my company's work-at-home program. It's a new thing, but it sounds like fun.

They say I need a 'dedicated, quiet space' and all I could think was...have you not actually been in my row? We are rowdy and noisy and there are more Transformers and Star Wars action figures than people!

Which might explain why they split my row up and spread us to the far corners (there are more than four corners around here). It's booooo-ring and depressing and I am sure we are weighing down the email servers trying to keep up the jumbled conversation we have been having for four months.

In any case, just to prepare, even though I haven't been interviewed yet, one of my goals this weekend is to set up said 'quiet, dedicated space', or some reasonable facsimile, along with pricing an upgrade to my internet connection and a landline, which I guess is required (two cell phones are not enough in case of emergency? I am sure they must have a reason).

I am working NO overtime next week and while my paycheck will suffer for it, I am so looking forward to three contiguous days of rest. (Days can be contiguous, can't they?) Ok, maybe not REST, but at least a change of pace.

The Kid Has a Point

2009-08-25T14:47:00.001-07:00

Nathan, watching an episode of Magnum PI:
"Mom, you HAVE to see this part!"
"Nate, I have seen all these episodes."
"Yeah, but your memory isn't what it used to be."
"Well, it's good enough that when Sensei asks me if you have been behaving tomorrow night, I will remember to say no!"
"Mom...karate is tonight."
"Oh."

Dang it anyhow.

He's Back

2009-08-24T09:06:00.000-07:00

After ten very long and boring days, Nate has returned. My grandmother and I fetched him yesterday and I am very proud to say that for the first time ever, I went to the West side and did not get lost, not even for a minute! We even got off the highway at points on purpose! Yay!

Ok, so if you are done laughing at me...

Nate had a great time. He said he got enough to eat (this was a concern as they were limited to three meals a day and Nate eats 7 most days). His instructor told me that Nate was a great help to some of the other kids, one in particular who was quite homesick. Of course, he also said that Nate kept trying to teach the classes...which is reminiscent of the first parent-teacher conference my poor mother had during my school career. (Jenny does all right, but would you let her know that I am the teacher?)

He is still wearing Navy gear. It appears that it has become fused into his very being.

He ran (yes, ran) to the store last night to buy gummy bears. Not only were they not allowed at boot camp, the superior cadets WERE eating them, and apparently this was torture tantamount to that which the CIA uses for interrogation.

Now we are trying to move from recovery mode to useful mode. It isn't going so smoothly.

'Bout Time

2009-08-20T06:20:00.001-07:00

Well, She Was Sweet, At Least

2009-08-17T12:19:00.000-07:00

I helped a....ahem...large-challenged, not-young lady this morning. (my grandmother objects to 'little old lady'). She was a sweetie, but she seemed to think I had some amazing magic. In any case, I had to re-set her password for her. I said, "I need you to give me a password that has at least six letters, that you have no used before." She gave me a series of letters and then I asked, "Any upper case letters in that?" and she said, "Not that I know of." Well, okay, then.

I really have nothing interesting to say. Between working tons and Nate being gone, basically I have become a big ball of boredom. This does not bode well for the day I have an empty nest.

Anyone who wants to pray, btw, I need to find a car by Saturday morning. No, that isn't a joke.

Pride Going Before The Fall

2009-08-14T08:36:00.000-07:00

While waiting for karate class to finish, I was singing in the car with the windows down. Granted, I can be quite loud, especially when moved.

I guess one of the other moms overheard me, because she went inside the building and said to my son, "Your mother has the most beautiful voice I have ever heard. What must it be like living with her?"

Nate answered, "Annoying."

I believe this answer stems from an incident the other night when he was stranded in the bathroom with no TP and trying to get my attention. I was singing in the kitchen and didn't hear him until he started banging on the wall.

I will try to keep his answer in mind while he is gone for the next 10 days and I am missing him like crazy.

MOT

2009-08-11T18:40:00.000-07:00

Where I work, we sometimes have MOT--Mandatory Overtime. Now, I try to work overtime, but somehow, when it is mandated, it isn't nearly as appealing. I worked an extra eight hours yesterday and have to go back tomorrow and to be honest, I just don't wanna.

Actually, I am just very tired and fighting a headache and can't go to bed early tonight like I would prefer. It's a lovely night for a walk but I feel too rotten to go for one. I didn't even stay to watch Jukido.

I think I am going to go hunt up some Calgone-type comfort.

Hear Me Roar

2009-08-10T10:30:00.000-07:00

Best customer comment ever:
"What can I say about Jennifer. She was great and did an outstanding job on finally fixing the issue I was having with my [item]. All those involved with my issue for the last three days have been great and understanding. Yet it took a woman to finally solve the problem...LOL."

Shoot Me Now

2009-08-08T18:44:00.000-07:00

Nate got more uniforms today. That need patches. Oh, joy.

I had a customer today. Well, I had about fifty, but I had one memorable one.

"Push the 'ABCD' button."
"When I do that, it says X"
"That doesn't sound right. Are you sure you are pushing the 'ABCD' button?"
"Well, of course. Look, I will do it again. See? It still says X"
"Hmm, ok, push the 'EFGG' button"
"That seems to do the same thing as the other button."
"Odd. Ok, now push the button that says 'ABCD' on it."
"I did, and it now says X"
"So, written on the button, it says 'A B C D?"
"You mean at the bottom?"
"The bottom? Um...no, I want you to push RIGHT WHERE IT SAYS ABCD"
"Oh, look...you know, you might have something there." !!!

It IS Saturday, right?

2009-08-08T12:04:00.001-07:00

So, Netflix is now shipping on Saturdays. Only I didn't find this out until it was too late to adjust my queue! Argh.

I was up half the night sewing patches on Nate's Navy Leaguer uniforms. If I never see another name tape it will be too soon. This morning I said, "There, I am all done! Now you know your momma loves you!" Nate said, "Or you are just doing your best to get rid of me for nine days!" LOL, at least now he can go to boot camp, and I still say I will come out ahead since I don't have to feed him while he's gone. Gonna miss him, though.

A clue to Nate's sense of humor: On my way out the door I asked him to turn off the lamp. It's been acting funny lately and I am worried about hazards. So I said, "Turn off this lamp before you leave. I don't want it left on when no one's home."

"I know what you mean, Mom! It's been convicted of assault four times and in jail on possession charges twice."

Sigh.

Blessed Peace

2009-08-06T19:59:00.000-07:00

For the first time in weeks it is cool enough to turn off the a/c. That thing, and the fans to circulate the cool air, are so LOUD! I am home alone and this is the most quiet that I have experienced in far too long.

It was a long and tiring day and I was not feeling well for most of it, so no walk this evening. Although, really, it is so nice out...maybe I will change my mind.

File This Under...

2009-08-04T08:35:00.001-07:00

'things I never thought I would have to say, prior to becoming a parent.'

"There is NO BUTT BITING in this game of Twister!"

Pevensie Invasion

2009-08-03T20:27:00.000-07:00

(Wherein I try to remember the Pevensie children's names...they aren't really Pevensies, you know. I am too tired to check Mrs P's blog, but I think they are, in order of age, Peter, Lucy and Edmund...the eldest I can't remember, but she was not among the troops.)

Mrs. P and 3/4 of her kids came to play today. Her children and mine have this rare friendship where they can fall back in like they never left off, even if for some reason it has been months since they saw each other. (Why would it be months? Well, we ask ourselves that and the answer is 'life'. It tends to mess up the best laid plans.) Come to think of it, Mrs. P and I have the same type of relationship.

Anyway, it has been a lovely day, though I am not sure our two households produce enough hot water for the now-needed bathing.

My Nate and the 3 Ps are 13, 12, 10 and 4. Since they have all been homeschooled all their lives, they don't realize they aren't supposed to enjoy each others' company.

We left the boys here to wreak havoc while Mrs. P and Lucy got hair cuts. The house was still standing when we returned, but the living room had been turned into a Nerf armory. Lucy is a pretty good sport, so they swept her into their war after we fed them. Once the battle died down to a low hum, we gathered them all up and headed to the park. We did a sort of rotation--wading pool (I promised Edmund an Edmund-sized pool, and it went over quite well), the river, where they took turns hauling one another around in a raft and forming a flotilla with floaties, throwing rocks, etc; then back to the wading pool (20 degrees warmer water in there!), then the playground, then the snow-cone booth (thank goodness!). Mine was pink lemonade, by the way.

Back home, lo and behold...the natives are hungry again. We head for pizzas and come back to find them googling us. Slightly disturbing.

Mrs. P is at a meeting this evening, so I am attempting to hold the fort down myself. The Nerf war is back on but the children decided it needed a plot. They camped out in the living room to divide up the duties. Poor Lucy kept aiming for a princess-kingdom-knights type of thing, while Peter and Nate were aiming for espionage of some sort and Edmund just wanted to shoot people. I believe they finally settled on Lucy being a computer programmer of royal heritage.

It's dark and I should call them in, but I hate to break up the fun. Besides, earlier when they were inside, Lucy bit Nate on the knee. Don't blame her, I think he stole her pocketbook. Edmund hasn't had a nap and is going to pass out any minute.

Speaking of Edmund, he was a great disappointment today. I have a stack of movies that I never get to watch because my kids think they are 'too old.' So I let Edmund have the pick of the entertainment closet, hoping for Nemo or Simba...and instead got roped into Star Wars! Good thing the kid is cute.

Scale Paradox

2009-08-02T20:49:00.000-07:00

As a sort of compromise between the focus I used to have on the number on the scale and the Intuitive Eating and body acceptance lifestyle I strive for, I allow myself one weigh-in on the first or second of the month, if I bother to remember. Many months I don't. This morning I did. And now I wish I hadn't.

Why? Because I weigh less than the last time I remembered...which I think was two months ago, although I could be wrong. Not much less, and it is little enough that it could simply be a natural fluctuation. Really, statistically insignificant! But it has caused me to spend too much time today (read: more than five minutes) fighting the old diet mentality. Oh, gosh, what did I do to make the number go down? What could I do to make it go down more? If I lost x amount every y time period..I could weight blank by new year's.

Ugh. That is the mindset I happily gave up. That is the nasty psychological warfare of diet-shake companies and stupid women's magazines and such. I don't want that for myself.

Curiously, when the number is the same or above what it last was, I never have this problem. And that is the paradox.

Clean Naked!

2009-08-02T13:48:00.000-07:00

This way, when you mis-read the directions on the bottle of heavy-duty mildew-killing shower cleaner with bleach and, instead of turning the nozzle tip 180 degrees, accidentally unscrew the whole nozzle component, dropping the bottle and being splashed, your clothes are safe and it is only you that needs hosing off.

I was glad I did!

One of Those Days

2009-07-30T12:18:00.001-07:00

TWO TIMES today a customer has called and we have had the following conversation (edited, of course):

"It isn't working!"
"I am sorry to hear that. What exactly do you see?"
"Oh, should I turn it on?"
"Yes, definitely turn it on."
"Oh, look, it's working now!"

Electricity. It's amazing.

In other work-related news, it is shift-bid time. The shift that I have now, to which I have grown accustomed, that fits so well into my life and need for sleep? *poof* It is no more. So I have to choose from 11 other shifts, none of which are nearly as nice. Do I want to give up three days off each week? Having Sundays off? Sleeping? Seeing my child? I have stared and stewed and finally numbered them 1 through 11 and hopefully, hopefully, they will give me something that works. I am aware that last time around I was exceptionally blessed, this time I am hoping for merely workable.

I haven't walked today yet. Actually, I totally forgot until I signed in to my blog and saw the walking blog list! But my shoes are in the car, socks and everything, and I can head down to the river while Nate is in karate and maybe even catch a breeze. A hot breeze, but that is better than none.

The Sudden Need for Motivation

2009-07-29T21:46:00.000-07:00

I didn't make the cut on the very first round! I knew it was a long shot, but I thought I might have a chance. In any case, I now need to find another reason to walk. I did two short walks today, laps around the (inside! air conditioned!) of the building I work in. It used to be a Walmart, so even though we don't use the whole building, it's pretty sizeable. While I didn't get many minutes in, I pushed hard enough to hurt.

Walking Blog

2009-07-28T20:14:00.000-07:00

I can't find a good gadget for this, so for the time being, it's going to appear at the top right of this page.

A word of explanation: As stated in the post previous to this one, I am beginning 'walking training.' This is for many reasons, not just a possible trip out of country. Walking is something people take for granted until they can't do it anymore. Due to an innate muscular imbalance in my legs, walking tends to be excruciatingly painful--as in, causing me to cry most times. My shin muscles are very week in comparison to my calf muscles. The shin muscles are what pull your toes up, so you can see how if they don't work well, walking could be difficult. My calf muscles try to overcompensate and end up cramping. Altogether it is no fun. The only cure is to walk in pain long enough to build up some sort of endurance. This isn't a result of being fat or lazy, by the way, I can remember this problem even during my teen years, even when tap dancing, an activity that strengthens the needed shin muscles. Walking has always been difficult and running simply out of the question. Combine this with a desk job and if I am not careful, I become unable to walk more than a block. This happened over the last two years, but I am fixing the situation now.

Tonight's walk was 12 minutes and a little more than half a mile. I walked pretty slowly, because I find that I can walk further that way. My goal isn't to get my heart rate up, lose weight, etc., it is simply to strengthen my shin muscles and build endurance, and for that, slow works, at least right now. Actually, tonight's walk went better than I expected-I haven't lost as much ground as I had expected over the last couple of weeks. My right foot didn't start to drag until the last block or so, and that is also about when the pain began to get bad-but it never did get as bad as it usually does.

Intrigue, Adventure and Motivation

2009-07-28T10:32:00.000-07:00

So, I applied for an overseas position that I am not able to discuss. No, really. I even had the follow conversation (or just about) with my own mother:

Hey, if I leave the country sometime this fall, can Nate stay with you?
Of course. Where are you going?
I can't tell you. (and I don't really know)
What are you doing?
I don't know, they won't tell us.
How long will you be gone?
I don't know that, either.

Never say I am not adventurous.

This possible trip, however, raises some issues. Clothes, for instance. I may be going to a very hot place, or I may be going to a cold place. I guess I should make...a few sundresses and sweaters? Then there's the regular preparing for this kind of trip. Find my passport, plan Nate's schoolwork, figure out what to do with the animals, how to pay bills while gone, etc.

And then there's the walking. No matter which location they send me to, I will be doing plenty of walking. Since walking is generally pretty painful for me, I need to build up some resistance. A couple weeks back I was doing a lot of walking and found that it became a tad easier and in fact, when I quit walking (someone loaned me a car), my body reacted rather badly. I should have kept it up, but used the 'it's a hundred degrees outside!' excuse (and I am not exaggerating). But now I realize I ought to be in training.

Nate is heading off to boot camp in two weeks, as well, and while he passed his PT qualifications, he says his stamina is not what it ought to be, so I guess we are both in training. I am NOT running, however. The kid will just have to run circles around me or something.

Well, Thanks, Kiddo

2009-07-26T11:34:00.000-07:00

Sitting in church today Nate leaned over and said, "You are sure having an...um..interesting hair day."
"I am?"
"Yes, very interesting. It just kind of went Kapow!"

Sigh.

If I Go Insane...

2009-07-24T12:24:00.000-07:00

THIS is the customer that put me over the edge.
(disclaimer: in order to hide where I work and what I work with, today we are pretending I work for a Toyota Repair Shoppe. Yes, I do mean 'shoppe'.)

"Welcome to Jenny-Fair's Toyota Repair Shoppe! How can I help you today?"
"Well, my husband's Toyota is broken. It does crazy things and sometimes it just won't go."
"Oh, I am sorry to hear that. Is that your husband's car that you brought with you today?"
"No, my husband has his car. This is my car. But I paid for both of them."
"I see. I would love to help, but in order to fix your husband's car, we need you to bring your husband's car to us."
"You don't understand. My husband is a very busy man. He's a doctor! He doesn't have time to bring his car in for repairs."
"Well, if you had your husband give you a description of the problem, and you brought his car in, we could take a look at it."
"Now, listen. Here is MY car. It is JUST THE SAME as his. You show me what to do."
"Um...I am really sorry, but if your husband's car is broken, then that is the car we need to look at. I can't tell from looking at your car what is wrong with your husband's car."
"Listen, I paid for BOTH cars. You CAN tell me. Just tell me what is wrong with the car and how to fix it! "
"Ma'am, really, without your husband's car, we can't actually help."
"Well, just show me on my car."
"No, really, we need to see the broken car."
"Fine! I am going to come back tomorrow with my own car and pretend it is the broken one! You will never know and you will fix it and I will be just fine!" (crazy lady stomps out)

Famous People

2009-07-20T11:31:00.000-07:00

I talked to someone famous today. I mean, Time-magazine-cover-famous. I talk to famous people every so often, probably oftener than I realize as I am really bad with names. Every so often I will be talking to someone and realize they are an actor or movie producer and I was just too clueless to figure it out without being told, but sometimes there is no doubt as to who I am helping. Anyway, the thing is, I never get the ones that I WANT to talk to.

Being in the unique position of having power and knowledge that they don't have, but still 'serving' these people gives me an insight into what they are really like. For instance, the person I spoke to this morning, while never on my 'I'd love to talk to THEM' list, and while diametrically opposed to me in beliefs, was relatively humble, never pointing out who he was, never asking for anything special, and following my directions even when they may not have made sense to him. Also, he didn't have his assistant call. I feel sorry for the assistants of the world-they are overworked, underpaid and frequently uninformed. Their boss hands them something and says 'Doesn't work! Take care of it!'. I can tell a lot about a person by how worried their assistant is, as well.

I am somewhat relieved to find out that I treat people normally, as well. At least, I hope I treat every customer with the same respect that I give when I know I am helping someone powerful or well-known. I did have one customer say that we should rate our customers (she said she was sure she would be #1), but I couldn't abide by that system, I don't think.

Creeping Discontent

2009-07-16T12:42:00.000-07:00

I am not sure if it is viral or bacterial, but I am sure that I have come down with it. Creeping Discontent.

It begins with something small, say, a car breaking down. Then it begins to snowball, adding teen troubles, busy schedules, money problems, etc...then I lose my ability to look at the glass-half-full side of life...until before I know it good friends are asking far too often, 'Hey, are you ok?'

Yesterday I turned to a work buddy and said, "I am in a bad mood!" and his reply was, "I had noticed."

Oops.

Really, what is my contentedness supposed to be based on? I don't think it's the car, the money, the kids or the house. Apparently I need to climb to a higher vantage point, 'cause I have lost sight of the point.

If God Texted The 10 Commandments

2009-07-14T14:44:00.000-07:00

1. no1 b4 me. srsly.
2. dnt wrshp pix/idols
3. no omg's
4. no wrk on w/end (sat 4 now; sun l8r)
5. pos ok - ur m&d r cool
6. dnt kill ppl
7. :-X only w/ m8
8. dnt steal
9. dnt lie re: bf
10. dnt ogle ur bf's m8. or ox. or dnkey. myob.

M, pls rite on tabs & giv 2 ppl.

ttyl, JHWH.

ps. wwjd?

From www.mikeysFunnies.com

The Downside of Intuitive Eating

2009-07-14T09:57:00.000-07:00

I don't talk about my Intuitive Eating journey often enough on here. Part of that, I think, is that in real life I frequently have to defend my way of eating, which makes me want to hold tighter to the parts of it that stay personal. But lately I have been struck many times by the downside of the process. Downside? There isn't supposed to be one! But, as with everything else in life, there are pretty parts and not-so-pretty parts, and sometimes they are even the same thing.

Family tension: My family doesn't eat like I do. They don't even understand my new way of eating. If I refuse dessert because I am not hungry or it doesn't sound wonderful, someone comments, "Jenny is trying to be good." Um, no, I am not...I think eating choices are morally neutral...I am just not hungry! Frequently if I don't put something on my plate, it's personal to the cook, and if my meal doesn't look 'balanced' I sometimes get a speech on the subject (as does Nate, who is the most intuitive eater I know...but at family dinners, there are veggies, fruit, chips and salsa out and he eats bunches of those and then when it is 'dinner time' he eats only meat...and gets a speech about it, every time. Um...he already had the other food groups? And what he eats is none of your business??!!). To be fair, this situation is getting better. I think my family has given up.

Inability to commiserate: Eat something not 'on your diet'? I could care less. Moaning and groaning about your belly? Really, I think your belly is fine. I think mine is fine, too. I don't care to sit around wallowing in self-hate, denial and false hopes. I actually think it's stupid to starve yourself or try to follow some formula. This does not make me popular.

Inability to eat emotionally: What?! But I thought that was the GOAL of this whole thing? Well, yeah, but do you realize what that means? It means...that when I am sad, chocolate is irrelevant. That some people who care about me can't make me happy by giving me Ghirardelli. I have to find new ways to cope. I am no fun at all-women ice-cream pity-parties. Chocolate sits in my cupboard or night table long enough that it has to be thrown out. In some ways that is very sad.

It's a bone of contention: Generally, what I believe about food and body size shouldn't be a point of argument, but it has become so at times. For instance, Raoul was coming over one evening. I asked him to bring me a cheeseburger. I don't eat cheeseburgers often but that night it really sounded good. What did he bring me? Nuts and berries. I kid you not. I insisted that nuts and berries are no 'better' or 'healthier' than a cheeseburger, but this was brushed aside. Of course they must be better for you! After all, you can pick them right off a vine! Um, no, actually, if one's body demands a cheeseburger, nuts and berries are not going to satisfy, no matter how 'healthy' they are deemed by some expert or another. And no, I don't really care that our ancestors and even some people on the planet today survive on that kind of diet, you can't listen to my stomach and you have no right to tell me what to eat. I could barely choke down a few nuts and berries and had to go to bed hungry (carless, mother hubbard me that evening, or I would have done something about that). Granted, not everyone is as conceited and self-righteous as my ex-boyfriend, but still, the need to shout "You're not the boss of me!" does pop up from time to time. Sometimes it isn't a friend or relative so much as it is society and situations...like at work, where the choice of convenience food is yucky vending-machine fare or the 'healthy food' table that only has granola bars and dried fruit...and this girl needs protein! So I have to go with the yucky Jenny-hating vending machine and be deemed 'that girl who is so fat because she eats hot pockets'. Well, no one has said that aloud, but you know how society makes you feel.

It won't make me skinny, and it ain't fast: Intuitive eating will never make me skinny. If I hadn't screwed with my metabolism to begin with, then perhaps I could intuitively eat myself to a socially acceptable weight, but I did screw with my metabolism and I have no delusions about what that means. I will be fat the rest of my life. I am ok with that now, but other people are not. The Navy, for instance. Nate's Sea Cadet unit could sure use another uniformed adult...but my body is, according to Navy regs, "a disgrace to the uniform." As if body size is, again, a moral issue? Um, no, thanks anyway. And other women are always assuming that I am trying to get thin. Nope! Wasted enough years on that, thanks! But then again, it is hard to give up the diet dreams, plus it is yet another way that I am different from the women around me.

The worst part? When angry at things like this, potato chips are no help. Sigh.

It makes special occasions harder: I almost didn't eat my own birthday cake this year. I wasn't hungry. It didn't even sound good, even though I had asked for it. I finally ate a small piece just to be polite, but I have grown to dislike doing such things. I know that naturally thin, intuitively-eating people eat when they are not hungry, and that is what I told myself, but I guess now that I am listening to my body, it's hard to argue with it.

It's more work sometimes: Starving myself is not an option, even for convenience's sake. Although I do struggle with this from time to time, the right thing to do is feed my hungry body. This is especially hard when I am home alone. Cooking a whole meal for one person who isn't even going to say thank you? What fun is that? But the other night I did make myself cook up a great chicken-pepper stir fry (with nuts...leftover from the anti-cheeseburger ex-boyfriend). It was wonderful, and I was so glad that I had done that. It hit the spot perfectly. But most days, I just want the hunger to go away rather than a cooking/eating experience. I have to learn to take better care of myself than that.

All in all, I still choose this path. I am free from the bondage of emotional eating, food rules and regulations, self-hate, despair, false hopes...it's wonderful! Freedom is a tasty thing :-)

Sometimes 'Homeschooling' is the Wrong Word

2009-07-12T13:01:00.001-07:00

I guess we could call this sailboatschooling? Zac Sunderland is about to become the world's youngest solo circumnavigator. I can't tell exactly what his educational history has been from his website, but I can tell you that clearly traditional school has not been an option for the last year! If that isn't unschooling I am not sure what is! LOL Anyway, it caught my eye because Nate started Sailing class last week, but I thought I would share it with my homeschooling friends. Get a load of his reading choices on board, and the classes his experience is counting for (in the FAQ section).

Garfield Had a Point

2009-07-06T17:12:00.000-07:00

You know how every Monday Garfield wakes up and gets a pie in the face? He thinks Mondays are inherently evil, that they are actually out to get us. He has a point.

This morning I woke up with a sore throat. I am fighting a sinus infection and apparently it is fighting back!

I checked my bank balance and find that my landlord had been holding on to not one, not two, but THREE rent checks...until last week. I thought there were only two outstanding, so all of a sudden my carefully laid financial plans for the month are blown to bits.

I am still carless, but I had on my 'absolutely necessary!' list things like buying deck shoes and sunglasses for Nate. No, really, it was necessary-he's at his first Sailing class as I write this. I would not want to see him sun-blinded, falling into the river in the hiking boots he insists on wearing every day. And since he is training for Boot Camp and has to run every day, sending him in his running shoes was also not an option.

So I begged my mother to loan me her car. On the way home from dropping her back at her office, sandwiched between a concrete barricade and a line of cars, I had no choice but to run over some object in the road. It made an awful sound and I drove home in a panic and looked underneath. Seeing no damage, I gingerly drove to the sporting goods store. When we left I saw a small puddle under the car, so I confessed to my mother and she sent me off to the Toyota repair shop.

This is where my Monday took a turn for the comedic and not-quite-disastrous. Turns out Lola (the car...choose your Lola song, I frequently sing when I see her) was fine...until I brought her into the shop. They ran into her with a golf cart while checking her over. The good news? This is not costing me any money, or my mom, either. Plus, Lola got a bath so they could check her for damage.

The Toyota repair shop has a waiting room to beat the Hilton. Massage chairs, a big screen television playing The Science Channel (I now know how they make those 13-foot long Riiiiicooooolllllaaaa horns and also how they make action figures based on real people), a boutique and a lady who kept trying to give people drinks and food.

And now I find myself with four hours (minus the time it takes me to post this) of solitude, peace and quiet. And a mile-long to-do list, but hey, we can't have everything! And, Monday, I believe I have beaten you this week after all!

The Vending Machine Hates Me

2009-07-04T12:31:00.001-07:00

We have a wall of vending machines in our break room. One dispenses frozen items. Last week, in desperate want of chocolate, I chose a frozen Snickers ice cream bar. I put in my money. I pressed the right buttons in the right order. And I retrieved from the machine...a beef and bean burrito. Not a happy thing. (You see, that morning, someone had stolen my very last Ferraro Rocher chocolate from my desk. My very last one. I have received a ransom note, but have not been able to retrieve the chocolate.)

This morning I went to the same machine to get a hot pocket for breakfast. The machine took my money and then twirled its screws until...my hot pocket was halfway on and halfway off the rack. Ok, I thought...I will buy two of them, then the second will push the first down and I will be able to eat breakfast! I put in my money. It twirled its screws. And one--only one!--hot pocket fell to the bucket.

I heated up my twice-paid-for hot pocket and then...what is this? A thump?! Oh, yes, my second hot pocket has....fallen onto the secret shelf that apparently only opens when the machine WANTS it to open, and is still irretrievable! Argh!

So...I put in my money, and I pushed the buttons for a Snickers Ice Cream bar...and this time it worked and I got all my paid-for food items...far too much to eat for breakfast, but mine nonetheless.

And I thought packing breakfast sounded like too much work this morning.

Nathan, Amazing Again

2009-07-01T07:39:00.001-07:00

So, I missed it due to my new schedule, but...

Nate made Yellow Belt in ADULT karate class last night! He has only been in the class for seven months, so this is quite a feat. I am very proud of him!

Birthday Girls

2009-06-30T09:51:00.001-07:00

My birthday was yesterday. Li'l Sis' birthday is tomorrow. My lovely stepmother took birthday photos for us. Aren't we cute?

Balm For My Spirit: Third Day

2009-06-23T17:10:00.000-07:00

Months ago I bought Third Day's newest album, Revelation. It arrived and promptly got lost. I have NO idea where it went. I even went to the library and made them look through their basket of accidental returns (it would not have been the first time, trust me!). Anyway, the car I am currently borrowing has a CD player in it, and, needing something to listen to, I opened the media closet. Lo and behold...there is my Revelation CD. Honest, I had searched that closet many times before without finding it. I think it was being kept for this past week.

So, Thursday morning, after the accident and several hours before the 'goodbye Raoul' thing, I popped that baby into the CD player and began to soak up the kind of lyrics that are truly comforting. I will include a few meaningful examples below, but encourage you to listen to the album for yourself (especially the title track, which I am not including below)

Oh, I don't want to let go of all the things that I know
are keeping me away from my life
Oh, I don't want to slow down, no I don't want to look around
But I can't seem to work it out
So help me God

It's been so long since you felt like you were loved
So what went wrong
But do you know there's a place where you belong, here in my arms?

Ever since the world around you shattered, you've been looking everywhere for something more
Sometimes you feel like your life doesn't matter, But it does, I tell you it does.

All the promises I've broken,
all the times I've let you down
You've forgot them but still I hold on
to the pain that makes me drown.
Now I'm ready to let it go, to give it away.
Take it all 'cause I can't take it any longer,
All I have I can't make it on my own.
Take the first, take the last, take the good and take the rest.
Here I am, all I have, take it all.
All the roads that lie before me, all the struggles I go through
Every second I'm reminded that it all belongs to you.
Now I'm ready to let it go, to give it away
Ever since I died to myself, you gave a better life to me
I give you my finest moment, I give you the last breath I breathe.